“I promise to be KIND and considerate of one another, be thoughtful of our feelings and needs and cultivate benevolence in our relationship.”

With this vow, we promise to always treat one another with kindness and be thoughtful and considerate to each other putting each other’s needs and feelings before our own.

What does the vow mean?

According to a dictionary, kindness is defined as the quality of being warm-hearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic. An act of kindness can be a simple thing, but it can be revolutionary in marriage since it is transformative. And though a simple thing we need strength and courage to show kindness.

Why do we need to be KIND towards one another for a healthy and happy marriage?

There’s no one thing that makes a marriage healthy and happy. But if I were to point out one major interpersonal skill that we require in a marriage to make it beautiful then it’s definitely going to kindness. Kindness is one attribute that’s a must in any marriage for it to be satisfying. Marriage is more about what you give than what you get. Being kind towards your partner harbours positive feelings in each other and propagates warmth and affection in the relationship.

Kindness doesn’t just mean being “nice” to each other. Our partners deserve every bit of our compassion and kindness considering the fact that we may not what they might be experiencing at work or at home. So the best we can do is being gentle towards them and offer kind and affectionate words. Kindness in words propagates confidence, but kindness in thinking and feeling propagates profoundness and love respectively.

So when I say “I promise to be kind” it also means that we are willing to be positive, affirming and compassionate about one another validating each other’s likes, feelings, and desires. Kindness also means being happy for your partner and being open about it.

Being kind doesn’t mean we are not allowed to have fights and arguments or have negative feelings. We don’t particularly have control over our feelings and reactions, but we sure do have control over our actions and how we choose to act upon our feelings. Being kind means you are willing to be considerate towards your partner and treat them with generosity. Also, an act of kindness is always remembered and acts as a buffer mitigating the feelings of hurt and anger and helping reestablish peace and harmony.

But we can never be kind to another person if we are not kind to ourselves. So, when I say “I promise to be kind” it also means that apart from being thoughtful of each other’s needs and desires, we are also willing to take good care of ourselves as well as treat ourselves with kindness and compassion. Being kind also means to treat them the way they want to be treated rather than the way we’d want to be treated.

A little kindness can go a long way and in marriage change the entire dynamics if we choose to add a little kindness to our everyday life. A smile when I offer coffee, a touch when I hand him lunch, appreciation on a nice shirt, a kiss when he leaves for office or greeting him with a smile when he’s back from office are some of the things I do on a daily basis as a way of showing affection towards Mr. Husband. I may not be able to control what he goes through the entire day, but I can certainly do my bit to help him get through the day. Our marriage is built with kindness and we have abundant kindness in our marriage.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet L. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet J here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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