BlogchatterA2Z Challenge – Reflection Post

BlogchatterA2Z Challenge – Reflection Post

Hello Readers!

April was a crazy month with BlogchatterA2Z Blogging Challenge. I successfully completed 26 posts in a single month and here’s my reflection post about the whole experience. It was hectic, it was tiring but at the same time, it was accomplishing and fulfilling. Many times during the journey I felt like giving up and quitting the challenge midway it was so daunting but I kept myself motivated and was determined to complete it.

It all started with the theme reveal. Since it was my first time and I had been waiting to take part in the challenge I was very both excited and nervous at the same time. I wanted my theme to be unique and suddenly it popped in my mind like a thinking bulb and nothing could have been better than this. So my theme to the challenge was Marriage Rededicated. Isn’t it unique and exciting? You can read all about it here.

The challenge was real. The struggle was real. But so was the learning and excitement. I got to discover and test my own limits, creativity and writing skills. I got to push my limits and discipline myself to write under pressure. I got to know and connect with so many amazing bloggers and read their brilliant pieces all in one place. And more than anything I could get consistent visits on my blog.

So, with this reflection post, I take the opportunity to thank the whole Blogchatter Team for this wonderfully awesome experience. I’m happy that I jumped on the boat not fully knowing what I had gotten myself into. I’m glad I could survive through the challenge and emerge victoriously. In this month I plan to read and engage in as many posts I can and I’m looking forward to participating in the challenge again the next year. You can find all my post from the challenge under #MarriageRededicated.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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“I promise to be YIELDING” – #BlogchatterA2Z 

Y is for YIELDING

“I promise to be YIELDING and willing to save the relationship instead of trying to win an argument.”

With this vow, we promise to always be willing to be submissive and allowing to be influenced by each other and give in to an argument rather than hurting the other in trying to win in a particular situation.

What does the vow mean?

A dictionary defines yielding as tending to give in, surrender or agree. People look upon yielding as a weakness when in fact in marriage it is the most courageous and powerful attribute. When you are willing to yield it means you care enough for the person and not the situation. The person matters more than the situation and therefore we find it more convenient to lose when winning can mean losing the person and the relationship.

Why do we need to be YIELDING for a joyful and lasting marriage?

Yielding in disagreements in marriage can really be transforming if you aim for a happy and peaceful marriage. Whether you’ve had an arranged marriage or a love marriage willingness to be yielding is one of the most important attribute in marriage. And since we have had an arranged marriage and we are still in the process of knowing each other better to be yielding becomes all the more important.

Coming from different backgrounds and having different sets of beliefs, faiths, ideas and opinions are bound to attract disagreements and conflicts. And our marriage, too, isn’t conflict-proof. No matter how happy we are or how strong our marriage is disagreements is too commonplace in our marriage too. And we are not of the belief as “don’t go to sleep angry”. In fact, we are a more of “sleep-it-off” couple.

When we have a conflict we can either choose to allow it to build up and get heated up or we can choose to step back and approach at the situation with a fresh perspective. By being stubborn we only build walls around us allowing us to wound us more deeply and to grow resentment. So, someone has to be yielding and being yielding doesn’t raise questions about our equality or make us any less important and valued than the other.

So, when I say “I promise to be yielding” it means that in an event of an impasse between us we are willing to reinvigorate by stepping back and returning back to the situation with a fresh perspective rather than nurse our own inflicted woundedness.

A divorce is never an option for us. We had decided very early on that we’ll make this work whatever it takes. Why? Because, there hasn’t been a single case of divorce in our community and we definitely don’t want to be the first. That’s motivation enough for us and more than anything we are in the marriage for everything forever and we are very clear about that.

So, when I say “I promise to be yielding” it also means that rather than making our marriage a power struggle we are willing to resist our urge to “win” arguments and disagreements, and manage our conflicts in a way that we both walk out of it feeling heard, respected and valued. Because, sometimes we need to lose if we want to win.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet Z. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet X here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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“I promise XCITEMENT” – #BlogchatterA2Z 

X is for XCITEMENT

“I promise XCITEMENT and thrill in our relationship to add the spark and turn our ordinary lives into extraordinary.”

With this vow, we promise to always keep the spark ignited and strive towards never having a dull moment in the relationship.

What does the vow mean?

Xcitement is defined as the feeling of being lively and cheerful from joy. Xcitement is a feeling or situation full of activity, joy, exhilaration, or upheaval. If you are full of Xcitement, it means you are showing a heightened state of energy, enthusiasm, eagerness, etc.

Why should there be XCITEMENT for a happy and happening marriage?

A happy marriage is not something that you find, but it is something that you create and keep creating it. And Xcitement, indeed, is the essence of healthy and happening marriage which helps to never let those tingles fadeaway that was there during the newness of the relationship.

Between Mr. Husband and me, Mr. Husband is the tamed one while I am the wild one. So in our marriage, it is up to me to add the excitement. The secret to our marriage not falling into a rut despite its long-term is not because we do different things; it’s because we do the same things differently. And one reason for bringing Shaarav to our lives is definitely for the excitement. And now there’s never a dull moment in our lives (not that there ever was).

So, when I say “I promise Xcitement” it means we are willing to put efforts it needs to keep the relationship lively and delightful.

We keep painting and repainting our love with shades of our favourite colours to avoid boredom and keep it lively. We keep rediscovering in each other the person who made us fall madly in love, who drove us crazy in lust, who made us laugh out loud at some silly joke and who made annoyed the hell out of us.

So, when I say “I promise Xcitement” it also means that amongst all those infinite nitty-gritty and mundane moments of daily life we are willing to strive to achieve some extraordinarily stellar moments of novelty adding a sense of fulfilment and gratification.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet Y. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet W here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Hits: 346

“I promise to WITNESS” – #BlogchatterA2Z

W is for WITNESS

“I promise to WITNESS and care about everything that happens in your life and that your life wouldn’t go unnoticed.”

With this vow, we promise to always be witnesses to each other’s lives caring about the smallest things that happen in our lives including the good things and bad things alike.

What does the vow mean?

A dictionary defines witness as to perceive or be contemporaneous with something or someone. The literal meaning of to witness means to notice and observe closely but in a relationship or in a marriage it means to care enough to be a source of both strength and solace to each other by way of acknowledging each other’s existence.

This vow is inspired by the movie “Shall We Dance” and if you have watched the movie you might actually know what I am talking about.

Why do we need to bear a WITNESS for a long-lasting and happy marriage?

Marriage is all about companionship and we all need a witness to our lives to notice us and make us feel cared for. We want someone to be a part of our life experiences, to share and have a life together and to see us live. And marriage is that institution where we become witnesses to each other through everything – the good and the bad, the big and the small, the happening and the mundane – everything. I mean who else apart from spouses would be interested in knowing the minutia of your daily life like what you had for lunch or how many hours you slept or why are you having a headache or when was the last movie you watched.

So, when I say “I promise to witness” it means we are willing to pledge each other to not let their lives go unnoticed because we’ll be each other’s witnesses. It means that we are willing to be present for each other through it all – the joy and the pain, the opportunities and the hard luck, and the surprises and the shocks. And not just because we will nevertheless be special and amazing to each other but also because we shall be at a loss to let our wonderful lives go unnoticed and un-witnessed.

Promising to witness is a way of showing that you’ll never be alone since you matter to me and so do your life and your experiences. It is a way of telling that I see you through your journey.

So, when I say “I promise to witness” it also means that we are not only willing to lovingly give our attention to each other and compassionately observe how our lives unfold through the fullness of our life experiences, but we are also giving each other the freedom to be known and acknowledged.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet X. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet V here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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“I promise to be VULNERABLE” – #BlogchatterA2Z 

V is for VULNERABLE

“I promise to be VULNERABLE revealing my innermost to you and be my authentic self without the fear of being hurt or rejected.”

With this vow, we promise to always be true to ourselves and each other showing and sharing our true self without pretentions and fear of being judged or hurt.

What does the vow mean?

Vulnerability is defined as the ability to open up and be exposed to being hurt or rejected. But vulnerability is required to reach the true affection that a relationship and marriage requires.

Why do we need to be VULNERABLE for a happy and satisfying marriage?

Mr. Husband and I, both are very down-to-earth people and that’s one thing that drew us to each other and that’s the one thing that has kept us look and feel attracted to one another even after 6 and half years of marriage and a two-year-old toddler. Being vulnerable has helped us remain authentic to each other and voice our thoughts and opinions even if they are not popular. So, when I say “I promise to be vulnerable” I mean we are willing to allow knowing each other fully – our visions, our thoughts, secrets, weaknesses, apprehensions, etc. without the fear of being judged and criticized.

Being vulnerable can seem scary and terrifying because some may perceive it for being submissive or weak. But it’s actually not. But opposing to the popular belief, it actually entails the strength and courage to be yourself without being pretentious even if there’s a risk of being hurt. So, when I say “I promise to be vulnerable” it means we are willing to be courageous enough to show our authentic selves despite the risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet W. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet U here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Hits: 425

“I promise to be UNITED” – #BlogchatterA2Z 

U is for UNITED

“I promise to be UNITED and work together as a team for a common goal and create a united front regardless of differences.”

With this vow, we promise to always keep a united front and work in unison towards a shared goal irrespective of our disagreements and divergence of opinions.

What does the vow mean?

A dictionary defines united as something that is characterized by undivided or unbroken completeness and is joined into a single entity. Being united means that

Why do we need to be UNITED for sustaining a happy marriage?

When we enter in a marriage we are not only united by faiths and bodies but we are also united by souls and thoughts. In a marriage, one plus one always equals one. Mr. Husband and I got into the holy matrimony knowing this very well. And long before we knew it the “me” in our relationship had transcended into “us” and “we”.  And over the years we have not just been united in the flesh but we have also experienced oneness in feelings, emotions, thoughts, and purpose.

Unity has manifested itself in multiple instances throughout our marriage and has brought us even closer to each other through times where the return seemed impossible. When my mother passed away I was extremely shattered and though Mr. Husband had known her just for a few years, he shared the same grief and pain. Unity has made us grow.

So, when I say “I promise to be united” I mean we are willing to add that anchor and fuel in our relationship which steadies it and helps in its sustenance for a long haul.

People often enter into wedlock with a distorted view of being united. Being united doesn’t ask us to lose our uniqueness and identities or change our opinions about anything and everything. Being united means we must be on the same page about what really matters and have a united front on bigger things.

So, when I say “I promise to be united” also means that we are willing to be united for a shared purpose simultaneously maintaining our separate purposes and individual uniqueness and still experience maximum freedom within the boundaries of marriage.

Marriage is about sharing and utilizing each other’s gifts, minds, talents, and spirits for achieving the greatness which couldn’t be achieved alone along with maintaining our personal space. With this belief, we are getting stronger in our marital life each passing day.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet V. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet T here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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“I promise to be SMITTEN” – #BlogchatterA2Z

S is for SMITTEN

“I promise to be SMITTEN and fall in love with you over and over again.”

With this vow, we promise to always stay in love and keep rekindling the flame of love and keep reminding us why we fell in love with each other in the first place.

What does the vow mean?

A dictionary defines smitten as a feeling or emotion marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness. Being smitten means when you’ve head over heels fallen in love with someone which cannot be questioned or reasoned. But, in a marriage, being smitten means that you are willing to stay in love with each other beyond reason.

Why do we need to be SMITTEN with our spouse for a healthy and long-lasting marriage?

Neither of us dreamt a fairytale love and romance before getting married. But here we are, even with six and a half years of marriage we’re utterly smitten with each other and we’re not ashamed to express our love for one another at every opportunity we get throughout the day. Though we both refrain from public display of affection and find it too cheeky we love to get clicked unabashedly for cosy pictures for our keepsake. Ours is not a very ecstatic marriage but a more pragmatic one. It’s not a very dazzling marriage but a more comfortable one where we endure and embrace each other’s flaws and imperfections and still manage to stay in love. You can get a fair idea from the fact that we sometimes call each “just to say a little I love you.”

So, when I say “I promise to be smitten” it means we are willing to strive to achieve a more stable and amicable relationship with love and endurance and keep the flame of love rekindled from time to time.

Being smitten helps us to revisit the time and reasons why we fell in love with each other and help us stay in love. Staying in love and being smitten is very important if we wish to have a long-lasting relationship and a healthy marriage. It not only helps to focus on what matters during an argument but it also helps to forgive easily.

So when I say “I promise to be smitten” I also mean that we are willing to cultivate unconditional and self-sacrificing love, and always put each other before us and believing in endurance and patience.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet T. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet R here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Hits: 249

“I promise to RESPECT” – #BlogchatterA2Z

R is for RESPECT

“I promise to RESPECT you in everything as an equal partner in the foreknowledge of joy and sorrow for all the risings and settings of the sun.”

With this vow, we promise to always be willing to honour each other through the thick as well as the thin.

What does the vow mean?

A dictionary defines respect as the condition of being honoured (esteemed, respected or well regarded) or an attitude of admiration or esteem. When we respect someone it means that we think highly of that person out of a feeling of esteem and honour. People feel love is the most important foundation in a marriage, but both Mr. Husband and I feel that respect is more important than love. And it was the respect more than the love that we mutually desired in our relationship.

Why do we need to RESPECT for a satisfying relationship?

Ours is an arranged marriage and even before love could make its place in our relationship it was respect that first made its mark and gave way for love to happen slowly and gradually. While it was a challenge we were finally able to infuse respect in our relationship when we were ready to embrace each other despite our flaws and shortcomings without being judgemental of each other and appreciative of one another’s uniqueness.

And it was not long into our marriage that we decided that neither we’d be pushing our views on one another nor be violating each other’s boundaries. So when I say “I promise to respect” it means we are willing to treat each other as individuals in spite of being in the relationship and honour one another’s choices and decisions.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet S. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet Q here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Hits: 311

“I promise to be PATIENT” – #BlogchatterA2Z

P is for PATIENT

“I promise to be PATIENT with you and work through our marriage with love and perseverance.”

With this vow, we promise to always be patient with one another and build our marriage with endurance and determination.

What does the vow mean?

Patience is defined as the quality of enduring trying circumstances with even temper or characterized by such endurance while perseverance is defined as steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

Why do we need to PATIENT for a long lasting marriage?

Both patience and perseverance are traits that are equally important ingredients for the recipe of a happy and long lasting marriage. While patience is required to discern what is needed to be tolerated and what is needed to changed, perseverance is required for being persistent and determined to be working towards achieving it.

Mr. Husband takes double the amount of time I take to get ready and while I am mostly very particular and punctual about things his is a more laid back attitude. So our habits are sometimes troublesome for each other but we have realized that these are habits that are deeply ingrained in our personality and cannot be changed. So, when it still bothers us knowing that neither of us likely to change, we try to be patient with each other.

So when I say “I promise to be patient” it means we are willing to be enduring and love each other even through our imperfections.

Marriage is a journey which changes its shape and course with time as we grow and change. And besides being patient with one another we need to be patient with our marriage itself while it grows and changes along with us. And this is where perseverance comes into play. When the change is happening it is easy to lose sight of what once we considered as beautiful and sacred. But we need perseverance to stick together and work through them despite the distractions and obstacles that may come our way.

So, “I promise to be patient” also mean we are willing to be determined and headstrong to do whatever our marriage demands to be healthy and strong and emerge victorious with a deepened appreciation of the marriage and of each other.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine


 

Hits: 196

“I promise to be OPEN-MINDED” – #BlogchatterA2Z

O is for Open-minded

“I promise to be OPEN-MINDED and learn to entertain new ideas and be accepting and embrace each other without prejudices.”

With this vow, we promise to always be willing to entertain new ideas and beliefs.

What does the vow mean?

Open-mindedness is defined as the willingness to consider new ideas, unprejudiced. It means to be aware and be willing to listen and take new points of view.

Why do we need to OPEN-MINDED for a satisfying relationship?

Being open-minded in a marriage is very vital for a healthy relationship. Mr. Husband and I come from different family backgrounds and have been raised with a particular set of beliefs and values. We both consider ourselves fairly open-minded but we both have some pretty strong opinions about certain things which we find it very difficult to deter from.  And we often come across instances when we really don’t quite come to terms about a particular decision on a certain issue. That’s a really difficult situation to be in and we definitely struggle through it, believe me. But with time we have realized that having an open mind helps us to look at the matter from a different perspective.

So, when I say that “I promise to be open-minded” I mean that I am willing to be accepting and willing to entertain and let new beliefs to come in,

Being open-minded helps us to free our minds from limiting ideas and thoughts opening our mind beyond the boundaries and to consider different alternatives. Having an open-minded approach in our marriage has enhanced our ability to love and be loved allowing us to be more accepting and to have a deeper and more meaningful relationship.

So “I promise to be open-minded” also means that we are willing to expand our knowledge to be able to consider different possibilities and solutions to a problem without passing judgment.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet P. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet N here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Hits: 206