“I promise to WITNESS and care about everything that happens in your life and that your life wouldn’t go unnoticed.”
With this vow, we promise to always be witnesses to each other’s lives caring about the smallest things that happen in our lives including the good things and bad things alike.
What does the vow mean?
A dictionary defines witness as to perceive or be contemporaneous with something or someone. The literal meaning of to witness means to notice and observe closely but in a relationship or in a marriage it means to care enough to be a source of both strength and solace to each other by way of acknowledging each other’s existence.
This vow is inspired by the movie “Shall We Dance” and if you have watched the movie you might actually know what I am talking about.
Why do we need to bear a WITNESS for a long-lasting and happy marriage?
Marriage is all about companionship and we all need a witness to our lives to notice us and make us feel cared for. We want someone to be a part of our life experiences, to share and have a life together and to see us live. And marriage is that institution where we become witnesses to each other through everything – the good and the bad, the big and the small, the happening and the mundane – everything. I mean who else apart from spouses would be interested in knowing the minutia of your daily life like what you had for lunch or how many hours you slept or why are you having a headache or when was the last movie you watched.
So, when I say “I promise to witness” it means we are willing to pledge each other to not let their lives go unnoticed because we’ll be each other’s witnesses. It means that we are willing to be present for each other through it all – the joy and the pain, the opportunities and the hard luck, and the surprises and the shocks. And not just because we will nevertheless be special and amazing to each other but also because we shall be at a loss to let our wonderful lives go unnoticed and un-witnessed.
Promising to witness is a way of showing that you’ll never be alone since you matter to me and so do your life and your experiences. It is a way of telling that I see you through your journey.
So, when I say “I promise to witness” it also means that we are not only willing to lovingly give our attention to each other and compassionately observe how our lives unfold through the fullness of our life experiences, but we are also giving each other the freedom to be known and acknowledged.