“I promise to be KIND” – #BlogchatterA2Z

K is for KIND

“I promise to be KIND and considerate of one another, be thoughtful of our feelings and needs and cultivate benevolence in our relationship.”

With this vow, we promise to always treat one another with kindness and be thoughtful and considerate to each other putting each other’s needs and feelings before our own.

What does the vow mean?

According to a dictionary, kindness is defined as the quality of being warm-hearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic. An act of kindness can be a simple thing, but it can be revolutionary in marriage since it is transformative. And though a simple thing we need strength and courage to show kindness.

Why do we need to be KIND towards one another for a healthy and happy marriage?

There’s no one thing that makes a marriage healthy and happy. But if I were to point out one major interpersonal skill that we require in a marriage to make it beautiful then it’s definitely going to kindness. Kindness is one attribute that’s a must in any marriage for it to be satisfying. Marriage is more about what you give than what you get. Being kind towards your partner harbours positive feelings in each other and propagates warmth and affection in the relationship.

Kindness doesn’t just mean being “nice” to each other. Our partners deserve every bit of our compassion and kindness considering the fact that we may not what they might be experiencing at work or at home. So the best we can do is being gentle towards them and offer kind and affectionate words. Kindness in words propagates confidence, but kindness in thinking and feeling propagates profoundness and love respectively.

So when I say “I promise to be kind” it also means that we are willing to be positive, affirming and compassionate about one another validating each other’s likes, feelings, and desires. Kindness also means being happy for your partner and being open about it.

Being kind doesn’t mean we are not allowed to have fights and arguments or have negative feelings. We don’t particularly have control over our feelings and reactions, but we sure do have control over our actions and how we choose to act upon our feelings. Being kind means you are willing to be considerate towards your partner and treat them with generosity. Also, an act of kindness is always remembered and acts as a buffer mitigating the feelings of hurt and anger and helping reestablish peace and harmony.

But we can never be kind to another person if we are not kind to ourselves. So, when I say “I promise to be kind” it also means that apart from being thoughtful of each other’s needs and desires, we are also willing to take good care of ourselves as well as treat ourselves with kindness and compassion. Being kind also means to treat them the way they want to be treated rather than the way we’d want to be treated.

A little kindness can go a long way and in marriage change the entire dynamics if we choose to add a little kindness to our everyday life. A smile when I offer coffee, a touch when I hand him lunch, appreciation on a nice shirt, a kiss when he leaves for office or greeting him with a smile when he’s back from office are some of the things I do on a daily basis as a way of showing affection towards Mr. Husband. I may not be able to control what he goes through the entire day, but I can certainly do my bit to help him get through the day. Our marriage is built with kindness and we have abundant kindness in our marriage.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet L. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet J here.


Mrs. Sunshine

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How did my blog get its name?

My own little world! The reason for the existence of my blog and its name!

Today is a special day. It’s my birthday today and I wanted to share a special story on this special day. It’s the story about how I came to finalize my blog name. I hope you all enjoy it.

I have often been asked how I came up with my blog name. It’s funny how people come up with names in the most unique ways. While for some it might take a lot of meticulous planning, for others it might be on a whim. Some would say ‘what’s in a name’, but for me naming my blog was a lot like naming my son. Just as I wanted a perfect name for my son, I wanted it to be perfect for my blog too – my second baby, my brainchild. I was so obsessed about finding the right name that I also remember losing sleep over it! In fact, choosing a name was the very first thing I did when starting my blog.

So the first things that came to my mind, promptly, while naming my blog were:

Why did I want to start it?

What was the purpose behind it?

While brainstorming for my blog name, I had certain things in mind:

1) For a name, I wanted something which could uniquely depict me, be relevant and which I could relate to.

2) I wanted my blog name to be catchy and familiar, yet be meaningful.

3) I knew I wanted to write about my journey as a mother while I raise my little one, but I did not want it to be pegged as just a parenting blog. I wanted it to be something much more – something which I could grow with.

4) The name needed to be versatile and allow for flexibility, on the tone of the posts as well as the categories and subjects.

5) But most importantly, I wanted the name to be such that it allows me to encompass everything in my life.

And, then began the soul-searching and brainstorming.

After a little soul searching and a short brainstorming session with a close friend I did come up with a name finally. It was this beautiful phrase I had been in love with since my graduation. I was so in love with the phrase that I had used it for my dedication page on both my M. Sc. and Ph. D. theses. For very long I was (and still am) in love with ‘The Wind Beneath My Wings’ for a name. I was so fascinated by the deep meaning of the phrase, that it felt as if it best suited to me and it would be just perfect for what I was going to present to my readers.

So, now that I had a name I wanted a custom domain (and preferably ‘.com’) because I disliked the idea of giving away my baby to someone even for babysitting. So purchasing a domain had always been a priority for I wanted a safe place for my baby to grow and develop. And I am glad that I decided on purchasing it since having a custom domain has given a serious pump to my confidence, wanting me to strive for excellence besides making me appear to be a serious blogger who means business.

I had already given a thought about branding it and so I wanted the same name across different social media sites. Thanks to a close friend and well wisher who guided me through each step. But when I began searching for its availability, to my utter dismay, it was already taken (nobody was using it though). Ugh! When finding that one perfect succinct name in every way was challenging enough, now I had to find another. It was heartbreaking, it was devastating and I was disappointed.

The search began yet again.

This time around I looked up the thesaurus, tried several name generators and also tried jumbling different words, but just couldn’t come up with anything suitable. I didn’t realize finding a name would be so time-taking and laborious. Then one fine day when I was about to give up the idea completely, I happened to think of ‘Cloud and Sunshine’. I completely give it to a grateful twist of fate that all of a sudden it popped into my head.

And ever since I have been revelling in it, it has become so special! It is home.

Motherhood, for me, was a distant dream for some time when trying to conceive was a struggle (as if it was cloudy all around), and it felt as though it would forever remain a dream. But then a ray of hope gleamed –like sunshine. And so the name ‘Cloud and Sunshine’ kind of stuck. The time that we were trying, taught me to see and admire the beauty of the bigger picture rather than concentrate on just the bad because there’s always a hope, there’s always a sunshine peeping from behind the clouds. Motherhood itself is an everyday struggle I choose to fight, where I learn to embrace the struggle and challenges because that’s life.

And that is how ‘Cloud and Sunshine’ was born.

I had to check again to see if the domain was available, and voila, it hadn’t been taken and ever since I have been using the same name across my social media handles to register my online presence, be it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn or Pinterest.

So, to me, ‘Cloud and Sunshine’ is the perfect fit and description of my blog. It kind of fulfills me and sums up my life as a mother as well as my life beyond it, for it has been my way of exploring my fresh identity and finding peace with my new journey. Apart from being a medium to share my feelings, opinions, experiences, and learning, it is also a way of chronicling my wonderful experience of raising Shaarav. It is like a legacy I wish to leave for my son and I couldn’t be happier and satisfied.

My blog name gives me pride every single day.

I totally love it and I couldn’t imagine having a different name now. Because, somehow, in an inexplicable way, it promises to represent me through all stages of my life and life experiences, both learned and earned. And as I steer my way into blogging, I have been realizing how my blog name fits in other different ways as well. I just needed to add the tagline Tales of Our Rendezvous with Life and Parenthood’ to give a little more meaning and persona to it.

The names tell us so much about the person and their unique reasons for deciding to blog. So, what’s your story behind your blog name? How did you come to choose your blog name? I would love to hear your one-of-a-kind stories about it. Tell me in the comments below.

I am learning how to grow my blog with Neha from bloggingmadeeasier.com. In case if you are interested in joining for next batch – Join Grow Your Blog Challenge here.

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