How I’m a “HAPPY” stay-at-home mom?

On March 7, 2019March 8, 2019 By Sweta KachhapIn Motherhood, Parenting2 Comments

In my earlier posts, I have talked about how being a stay-at-home mom has been a conscious choice for me and pointers on how you can be a happier mom. But being a “happy” stay-at-home mom is a different ballgame altogether. This International Women’s Day let’s talk about how I have managed to be a “happy” stay-at-home mom.

A “happy” stay-at-home mom might come as a myth to many. Why you ask? Because statistically speaking, the stay-at-home moms are the ones prone to boredom, anxiety, depression, and aggression owing to their demanding, exhausting and isolating nature of work that can be too taxing on their mental wellbeing.

I’m a doctoral degree holder and I have been a meritorious student all my student life. But presently I’m “just” a stay-at-home mom. Did you get offended when I said “just” a stay-at-home mom? Yeah! Even I was among those who didn’t feel proud of my “not-so-job-like job” as a stay-at-home mom. And trust me; the pride that I am taking today in being one didn’t come overnight. It has gradually grown with time simultaneously with my son. And today, after more than two years into it, I cannot emphasize enough how proud and thankful I feel for the opportunity.

So, does it even cross my mind even for a second that I’m wasting my hard earned education?

Never! Never ever!

My education is being put to good use. It’s just that having a career is not one of them at the moment. So what if I don’t get accolades and recognition for what I do. So what if I don’t draw a handsome paycheque for the time and energy I invest in my little man. Instead of leaves I get unannounced wet kisses, smothered all over my face. No employer can be so generous I’m sure. Instead of appraisals, I get plenty of “I love you, mommy” in a single day. How about that? Instead of health coverage I am asked, “What’s wrong or All OK?” several times during the day. Can any job in the whole wide world be so satisfying? It’s surreal!

True happiness comes from satisfaction, right? And being happy is what I choose every day. So how exactly I’m a “happy” stay-at-home mom?

1) I’m happy by making sense out of nonsense

It was sleep time for my son. My toddler doesn’t go to sleep without his favourite blanket. And I have to wash it and get it dried in a single day for it to be available for him. So on one such day when he asked me about it, I said, “It’s right there. Let me bring it.” And I went and brought it to him. But he started to cry saying he wants to bring it. So I went and kept it back for him to bring. But again, he started to cry, saying, “Mummy will bring.” I brought it again, but he again wanted to bring it by himself. This continued for a good 15 minutes in a loop when I finally gave up and yelled at him for being so unreasonable. The poor soul started to cry again, yet, he came up to me, climbed on my lap and snuggled into my arms only to fall asleep within minutes even when I was the one at fault to hurt his feelings. And it was then that it perfectly made sense. Sometimes you derive happiness from the most nonsensical and illogical things. I will always be his happy place and that makes me so happy. No matter what, he will come to me for both comfort when he’s in distress and for rejoicing when he’s happy. So does it matter if just a second before I was scratching my head in complete confusion, unable to comprehend his behaviour? My toddler is unpredictable and his actions unexplainable but with him, I’m learning to make sense out of the nonsense.

2) I am happy by finding music in noise

Even if you have read several books on parenting I’m sure you would have been confronted with occasions when none of the parenting mantras work. At some point or the other, you must have felt clueless without a sense of direction. Are you nodding in approval? Because children come with all sorts of hues and shades of moods and which shade becomes their current favourite is very difficult to guess. And, there’s no such thing as universal parenting, which can suit every child. So even when Shaarav’s terrible twos have barely begun I still get meltdowns every now and then. There are screaming and howling directed towards me for literally no reason. But when I pick him up and hold him close he hugs me tightly. And in the moments for which the hug lasts, I feel his heart-beat in sync with mine that beat together in unison. When I am about to lose it all I rather choose to stay calm. I am learning to find music in noise because if I cannot tame my own temper how am I going to help him in expressing his feelings and emotions? This way I’m better in rhythm with his moods and feelings.

3) I’m happy by hearing what’s not spoken

My child is my best critic. I mean he’s the only one who gives me feedbacks that are unbiased and far from being formal. I ask him, “Did you eat your tiffin?” and he’d say, “Finished” and I check his lunch box only to find it untouched. And I take a mental note for not sending sautéed French beans for his tiffin again. I ask him, “I’m preparing oats for dinner. Is it OK?” and he’d say, “No” only to find him finishing off his plate within minutes. And I again take a mental note that he likes oats. Some days he says stuff he means it, while on other days he says one thing but means entirely the other thing. But the mommy in me is learning to hear what’s not spoken and I feel happy when I ace it.

4) I’m happy by taking what’s not given

My toddler finds immense happiness in dancing in my arms, jumping on my back, pulling my hair and tickling me, which I find extremely annoying. But I understand that this is his way of reminding me that all he wants is me – to be beside me and explore the world with me. I understand that even if I have no chance at winning myself “the best employee of the year award” I’ll still have my son as my biggest true fan. And while I don’t get to throw parties for big success at work I’m happy to celebrate my little accomplishments with Pizza party. I’m still learning to take what’s not given.

5) I’m happy by staying fixed even when I’m broken

And for all the above-mentioned reasons, even when I struggle through the day to not get upset and unleash my temper on my toddler because he unfolded the laundry the eighth time I folded it back, I still prepare his favourite Soyabean chilly for lunch. Because I’m happy to watch that spark in his eyes and that big grin on his face when he sees his favourite food on the plate. I’m learning to keep it together even when I’m on the verge of breaking loose.

True womanhood is about identifying the real you. It is about chasing your dreams and making them come true. It is about empowerment and what makes you happy. Motherhood is a truly empowering spirit and I have realized that if you’re unhappy with the choices you’ve made you can never really enjoy the exceptionally rewarding experience and joy that motherhood has to offer. And happiness comes from the satisfaction.

A “happy” stay-at-home mom is not a myth. Actually, the reality is far from it and I’m a living example. Because when being a mom itself is hard, being a working mom or a stay-at-home mom is definitely harder. But happiness is a choice that I choose every day despite all sorts of challenges and setbacks that I face time and again. Because it is not happy people who are thankful but it is thankful people who are happy. And I’m thankfully happy to be blessed with the opportunity and privilege to pour and invest myself and my time in raising my son. Even though it is exhausting and I’m left feeling burned out I am happy watching my son grow into an intelligent, kind and compassionate little man. And I have immense satisfaction in knowing that being a “happy” stay-at-home mom, I have the privilege to be a part of my child’s life and to be happily present for him physically and emotionally, be it tending or toiling.

This post is a part of the #MomsSpeakUp Blog Train hosted by Prisha and Nayantara. I would like to thank Ravijot Kaur for introducing me. Read their take on the prompt here. I would like to introduce Anoushka Singhal. I’m sure you will enjoy reading her take on the prompt here. Please check out other wonderful posts on the theme by other boarders as well. Here comes the train! Choo Choo!

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Hosted By :

#Mummasaurus
#MommyingBabyT

How did my blog get its name?

On September 7, 2018May 6, 2020 By Sweta KachhapIn Random10 Comments

My own little world! The reason for the existence of my blog and its name!

Today is a special day. It’s my birthday today and I wanted to share a special story on this special day. It’s the story about how I came to finalize my blog name. I hope you all enjoy it.

I have often been asked how I came up with my blog name. It’s funny how people come up with names in the most unique ways. While for some it might take a lot of meticulous planning, for others it might be on a whim. Some would say ‘what’s in a name’, but for me naming my blog was a lot like naming my son. Just as I wanted a perfect name for my son, I wanted it to be perfect for my blog too – my second baby, my brainchild. I was so obsessed about finding the right name that I also remember losing sleep over it! In fact, choosing a name was the very first thing I did when starting my blog.

So the first things that came to my mind, promptly, while naming my blog were:

Why did I want to start it?

What was the purpose behind it?

While brainstorming for my blog name, I had certain things in mind:

1) For a name, I wanted something which could uniquely depict me, be relevant and which I could relate to.

2) I wanted my blog name to be catchy and familiar, yet be meaningful.

3) I knew I wanted to write about my journey as a mother while I raise my little one, but I did not want it to be pegged as just a parenting blog. I wanted it to be something much more – something which I could grow with.

4) The name needed to be versatile and allow for flexibility, on the tone of the posts as well as the categories and subjects.

5) But most importantly, I wanted the name to be such that it allows me to encompass everything in my life.

And, then began the soul-searching and brainstorming.

After a little soul searching and a short brainstorming session with a close friend I did come up with a name finally. It was this beautiful phrase I had been in love with since my graduation. I was so in love with the phrase that I had used it for my dedication page on both my M. Sc. and Ph. D. theses. For very long I was (and still am) in love with ‘The Wind Beneath My Wings’ for a name. I was so fascinated by the deep meaning of the phrase, that it felt as if it best suited to me and it would be just perfect for what I was going to present to my readers.

So, now that I had a name I wanted a custom domain (and preferably ‘.com’) because I disliked the idea of giving away my baby to someone even for babysitting. So purchasing a domain had always been a priority for I wanted a safe place for my baby to grow and develop. And I am glad that I decided on purchasing it since having a custom domain has given a serious pump to my confidence, wanting me to strive for excellence besides making me appear to be a serious blogger who means business.

I had already given a thought about branding it and so I wanted the same name across different social media sites. Thanks to a close friend and well wisher who guided me through each step. But when I began searching for its availability, to my utter dismay, it was already taken (nobody was using it though). Ugh! When finding that one perfect succinct name in every way was challenging enough, now I had to find another. It was heartbreaking, it was devastating and I was disappointed.

The search began yet again.

This time around I looked up the thesaurus, tried several name generators and also tried jumbling different words, but just couldn’t come up with anything suitable. I didn’t realize finding a name would be so time-taking and laborious. Then one fine day when I was about to give up the idea completely, I happened to think of ‘Cloud and Sunshine’. I completely give it to a grateful twist of fate that all of a sudden it popped into my head.

And ever since I have been revelling in it, it has become so special! It is home.

Motherhood, for me, was a distant dream for some time when trying to conceive was a struggle (as if it was cloudy all around), and it felt as though it would forever remain a dream. But then a ray of hope gleamed –like sunshine. And so the name ‘Cloud and Sunshine’ kind of stuck. The time that we were trying, taught me to see and admire the beauty of the bigger picture rather than concentrate on just the bad because there’s always a hope, there’s always a sunshine peeping from behind the clouds. Motherhood itself is an everyday struggle I choose to fight, where I learn to embrace the struggle and challenges because that’s life.

And that is how ‘Cloud and Sunshine’ was born.

I had to check again to see if the domain was available, and voila, it hadn’t been taken and ever since I have been using the same name across my social media handles to register my online presence, be it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn or Pinterest.

So, to me, ‘Cloud and Sunshine’ is the perfect fit and description of my blog. It kind of fulfills me and sums up my life as a mother as well as my life beyond it, for it has been my way of exploring my fresh identity and finding peace with my new journey. Apart from being a medium to share my feelings, opinions, experiences, and learning, it is also a way of chronicling my wonderful experience of raising Shaarav. It is like a legacy I wish to leave for my son and I couldn’t be happier and satisfied.

My blog name gives me pride every single day.

I totally love it and I couldn’t imagine having a different name now. Because, somehow, in an inexplicable way, it promises to represent me through all stages of my life and life experiences, both learned and earned. And as I steer my way into blogging, I have been realizing how my blog name fits in other different ways as well. I just needed to add the tagline ‘Tales of Our Rendezvous with Life and Parenthood’ to give a little more meaning and persona to it.

The names tell us so much about the person and their unique reasons for deciding to blog. So, what’s your story behind your blog name? How did you come to choose your blog name? I would love to hear your one-of-a-kind stories about it. Tell me in the comments below.

I am learning how to grow my blog with Neha from bloggingmadeeasier.com. In case if you are interested in joining for next batch – Join Grow Your Blog Challenge here.

The From the Heart Award – and a Thankful Heart

On August 31, 2018January 13, 2019 By Sweta KachhapIn Awards7 Comments

I was away for some time taking a break from blogging to sort my headspace. But now that it’s sorted I am ready and all set to pop back. So starting right from where I had left, the very talented and sweet Mel Finch from Crushed Caramel had nominated me for the “From the Heart Award”. Isn’t that amazing when such a wonderful blogger as she notices and appreciates your work? I am super elated. I wholeheartedly thank Mel for giving me recognition and finding my blog worthy of the nomination. Do give her a visit for some light-hearted humour hand in hand with some thought-provoking words of wisdom.

“No matter how big or small it is I like to see myself accomplishing things.”

To me, every little accomplishment is a reason to celebrate and rejoice. And this nomination is just as great as any other. The “From the Heart Award” goes to bloggers who primarily focus on personal writing. Their posts are often from the writer to the world at large or from the writer to the writer themselves and they just allow us access to their mind. Their posts are so personal as they have put out a piece of their heart in front of the readers, and thus the name of the award.

I am thankful to Mel for considering my blog for the award. I find it extremely difficult to cook up imaginary stories which are not even remotely related to a true incident or a real person. My posts are mostly inspired by my life – both people and experiences form the basis of my posts. And I believe, that is the reason why I am able to pour my heart into them, strike a chord and connect with my readers. As Mel very correctly stated that creating posts that can touch people’s heart doesn’t need to be very emotional all the time; but to be able to write in a manner that people can relate to and be inspired, and that which can make a difference in their lives is what I feel makes my writing straight from the heart. And as asked this post titled “Motherhood might be my religion, but I am more than just a mother” is one of my very favourite posts. Do pay it a visit. (If you want to know more about me visit my “About” page.)

Just so as we are speaking from the heart, before I proceed with my nominations, I want to take this opportunity to thank all my followers who have been so kind to keep me motivated by loving and appreciating my work. My sincere gratitude to all my followers who have helped my blog grow and flourish, giving me abundant confidence and reason to keep me going. Each like and comment that I get on my posts, feel so rewarding and go a long, long way.

Heartfelt Thanks for all the encouragement!

Ever since I started it, this blog has been like a second home to me because the kind of love and support that I get from you all makes me feel so at home. I am incredibly humbled to all my loyal readers who have been making my journey worthwhile. Keep showering me with your love so that I remember to be thankful and in gratitude every single day.

Proceeding to my nominations for the “From the Heart Award”, though I didn’t get any questions attached to it, I would like to add some of my own to spice it up a little.

5 questions I would like you to answer

1) What makes you passionate about blog posting?

2) What is the story behind your blog?

3) What is the one learning or experience from your blogging journey which has helped you the most?

4) What is your vision about your blog in about 10 years from now?

5) If you were asked to provide one constructive feedback to me, what would it be?

Remember guys it should be straight from the heart.

My nominations for the “From the Heart Award”

1. J Blaide from Wit and Whimsy

2. Missterioso Das from Head Full of Dreams

3. Millennial Hygge Wife from Millennial Hygge

4. Natalie Williams from Searching For My Inner Zen

5. Jena Pendarvis

If you choose to accept the nomination create a post telling us more about you, answer my questions, remember to tag me and inform me about your post by leaving a comment here or creating a pingback for me to have a look at your answers. Hope you enjoy answering my questions. And don’t forget to nominate other bloggers who you think blog about their personal accounts to discover, connect and support the blogging community.

Let’s spread the love and joy of blogging!

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Celebrating sibling love through the festival of Rakshabandhan

On August 27, 2018January 13, 2019 By Sweta KachhapIn Relationships4 Comments

We went eco-friendly this Rakshabandhan celebrating the festival with a 100% biodegradable Rakhi. This plantable Rakhi is made from hand-made paper, natural colours and, seeds which can be planted in the soil after the festival is over to grow plants of Tulsi and marigold. This is just a small gesture towards the Mother Nature, which also gives me a reason to share a beautiful little story of the festival which is very close to my heart.

We are four sisters and a brother. My youngest sibling (my baby brother) is twelve years younger to me. For very long I didn’t have a brother. Twelve years is really a long time, don’t you think? The sister immediately younger to me is just two years younger. So for a few years not having a brother didn’t make much of a difference. It didn’t really matter if I had a brother or not until I was seven years old. In our craft class at the school, we were being taught how to make Rakhi using silk threads and a brush and were being told the story and the significance of the Rakshabandhan festival. I, as a kid, was so intrigued and fascinated by it that I terribly wanted to have a brother of my own. Moreover, looking at other girls with brothers and listening to their plans for the festival was making me long for a brother even more.

That day, when I returned home, I was particularly sad and my mother sensed it immediately. When asked, I narrated her the entire incident that happened at the school. She laughed it away and helped me with my art & craft homework, which was to prepare Rakhis for display at the exhibition. The Rakhis that we prepared turned out really beautiful and I was very proud of that.

But Rakshabandhan being just 2 days away, I was still whining for a brother, and more so when my prepared Rakhis won the best Rakhi in the whole class. But, on the day of Rakshabandhan what my mother did for me was super duper extraordinary and will definitely blow away your mind (Well, it did mine!). My mother dressed my baby sister, who was 1.5 years at the time, as a boy and asked us to tie her the same Rakhis that we had prepared for the exhibition (My mother had converted Bably to Bablu for the day just for me). And the cherry on top of the cake was I even got a present for the Rakhi as a custom. And my happiness knew no bounds. Life is so simple when we are kids, isn’t it? And little happiness means so much. I wish life could be so much simpler now.

For 3 more years, I continued to tie Rakhi to our Bablu and later to Dably turned to Dablu. It was 1.5 years later that I got my actual brother. And the first Rakhi I celebrated with him was when he was just 5 months old and could barely sit. He just kept staring and drooling all the time unaware of what was happening with him. But that one Rakhi is still the second most memorable of all Rakhi I’ve ever had so far, the first will always be the one with my Bablu! Nothing can ever beat that one!

Rakshabandhan celebrations with my brother.

Traditionally started as a way of brothers swearing to protect the sisters as they tied the Rakhis on their bothers’ wrists, I am so glad that modern day Rakshabandhan has evolved so much. It doesn’t need to be just a brother and sister festival anymore according to its modern version. And why do we need a brother to protect a sister when a sister can do the job equally well, and sometimes even better. It is only sensible that way don’t you think?

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

This day that year – Coping with the loss of My Mother while pregnant

On June 7, 2018January 13, 2019 By Sweta KachhapIn Motherhood, Relationships9 Comments

Some beautiful moments with my mother from my marriage!

It’s been two years since she is not with us anymore. Who is she? She is my mother. Today is her second death anniversary and all the memories related to that dreadful day that is still fresh in my mind come gushing in. All this while I had kept myself shut. I had decided I would share my feelings when it would be a lot less hurting. But only recently I realized that there won’t be any time when I would not feel the void that the loss of my mother has created in my heart, and in my life. Tears roll down as I write this, but this time I have decided there’s no easy way to it and there’s going to be none in the years to come.

The truth that my mother isn’t here anymore took a while to sink in. I was unable to comprehend how she could have gone just like that. I had just talked to her the same morning, though not for long as she wasn’t allowed to use phones due to the surgery. My greatest regret is that I didn’t even get to say my final goodbye.

That fateful day, on hearing her sudden demise people had started pouring in, in great numbers. My mother was the kindest soul there could ever exist. The lives of the people she had touched, the lives of the people she had influenced, directly or indirectly, all of them were visiting to pay her their last tribute, to show their deepest condolences. They especially came up to me to console me as I was in the most vulnerable, the most fragile state anyone could be in. But my heart was beyond any consolation for the pain I felt was unendurable. I knew they meant well. But the loss was beyond repair. My life, my world was in a total wreck – shattered into the smallest of pieces which couldn’t be put back together even if I wanted to. I was growing an innocent life inside me, the most blessed of things any woman could do and it somehow felt as though it was the biggest sin at the moment.

And I didn’t want to listen to all that, “It happens”, “Life is cruel”, “It has happened with me”, “I know how you feel” – meaningless stuff. To all those people who kept telling me not to cry, not to stress, I wanted to shout to their faces, at the top of my voice, that nobody can know how it felt at the time even if they have been there, just nobody. And none of their words were good enough to give me comfort, to give me peace, which could take away the suffering; none of them at all. I was in a state of utter anguish. I wanted to cry, I wanted to mourn the massive loss and here people were asking me not to, as it could harm the baby. Instead, I kept staring at their faces, blank, without any expression, for being so insensitive. I knew they meant well, but I didn’t want their sympathy. I didn’t want anybody to pity me. I wanted to be alone – just me and her memories, and oh, my unborn baby.

I was going to become a mother myself and I cared least for the impeccant life growing inside me! I confess I am guilty of feeling that way when all I could do was praise for the blessing I was bestowed with when one life was taken. I was torn between what was right and what I wanted. It ached from not being able to cry as much as I wanted to for the very fact that it would harm the baby. I wasn’t even allowed to attend her last rites since I was carrying for some stupid custom where pregnant ladies are shunned from it. I cursed myself for it. She was my mother goddamn it. And I will have to live with this regret, forever.

Some lovely moments with my mother from my graduation!

For the countless days that followed, while on one hand each one of us tried to stay strong for each other as we began wearing our strongest facade of a face, trying to hide what an emotional wreck each one was inside. On the other hand, each one kept trying to find nooks, corners, and places to secretly cry their heart out so that the others didn’t know about it, only for the fact that those swollen, puffy tear-ridden eyes gave way to what exactly the other was feeling.

She was the first one we had broken the news that we were expecting. She had already bought stuff for her would-be-grandchild and even knitted booties and mittens as we were going to have a winter baby. I wanted to share so much with her, ask her so much.

“What it was like when my mother was pregnant with me?”

“What it was like to raise me?”

“How was I as a baby?”

“Did I trouble her a lot?”

“Does my child bear an uncanny resemblance to what I was as a kid?”

I am left with so many unanswered questions. I cannot help but wonder. It’s difficult to be living a life without her. Sometimes I feel it’s just a bad dream and when I open my eyes she will be there, only that it’s an ugly reality we have to live with every day. There’s this gutted feeling in the stomach all the time, cringing me constantly. This entire void only lets me believe what mothers mean to their children; what I, as a mother, mean to my baby.

I would have gone into depression if it hadn’t been for Mr. Husband. He has been this unwavering source of strength this whole time. He was there to be the pillar every time I needed to lean on. He was the shoulder each time I used to cry on. He is the witness of the tiniest tear that has ever gleamed in my eyes.

Now two years later, with Shaarav in our lives, it still hurts the same way; only the expression of it has changed. I share stories of my mother, I share stories about her, and I share her stories, to find ways to keep her in our thoughts, to keep her alive in our memories. I find ways to make Shaarav get acquainted with his “Naani” whom he couldn’t meet from the memories I have of her, tell him how she would have said or what she would have done if she was here with us today. And let me tell you, even at this tender age Shaarav knows who his “Naani” was and he has already grown fond of her. Alas, I still can’t help thinking and be wondering how different our lives would be if she was here with us today. Read my earlier post on “Surviving the Loss of Your Mother while Pregnant”, from Mr. Husband’s point of view.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

May her smile continue to make our lives bright and beautiful!

I have been that Mom, but I dare to break free

On June 1, 2018January 13, 2019 By Sweta KachhapIn Challenges, Motherhood, Parenting16 Comments

Enjoying some fun time with my munchkin because I have been that Mom

Motherhood comes in seasons and I am in that season of motherhood where the heat of the season is getting to my head. I am exhausted and ragged to the bone most of the time, burdened with responsibilities which keep on mounting and doesn’t seem to end. Yes, I have been that Mom.

There are moments of spectacular delight like yesterday when my little munchkin Shaarav came up to me unannounced and started saying, “Mummy-stan up (stand up)-dance, mummy-stan up-dance” on repeat mode. It’s a delight because 1) he’s just 18 months old and learning to talk with his two-to-three-word sentences 2) I’m hearing him speak this for the first time and 3) I am surprised how he learned to say this because, apparently, I don’t remember teaching him. He brings me sheer delight in moments when asked to say sorry, he holds my ears instead of his and says, “Sooweeeee.” And suddenly in the middle of his play, when he comes and sits beside me and says, pinching my cheeks, “Cheek, Cheek, Cheek” (because he learned to tell cheek and chin last week) or when after waking up in the morning, the first thing he does is come to find me in the kitchen and greet me with his brightest smile, or those times when I find him trying to repeat my ‘go to’ words in his baby voice and looking at me for approval. How I wish I get to soak in moments only like these!

But then, motherhood is also made up of moments when I find myself struggling to make through the day, feeling heavy and tired from lack of sleep, round-the-clock demands of an active toddler and heaping undone chores. Moments like these, give me nightmares when he pulls my hair, bites me at whatever place he can find, playfully hits me (though it still hurts) with whatever he gets his hands at, never lets me nap if he’s awake, sits on me, jumps on me, stands on me, scrambles my kitchen or strews his toys all over the house.

Shaarav tests my patience in a way no one else can. He will repeatedly do things he’s not asked to, driving me crazy and making me lose my temper. I think he purposely picks the dustbin and litters around, scatters my kitchen again the fifth time I arranged it in the day, climbs the dining table and occasionally fusses about food only to annoy me. Because he is exactly the opposite when he’s with his father. He is so well-behaved around him. That is the case with stay-at-home-moms, at the end of the day, we both want to break free from each other’s company and let out cries of joy the instant we hear the doorbell ring. We both jump to open the door to Mr. Husband and find relief from each other. It hurts and feels guilty, sometimes, for being happy to be away from him. And I feel that I completely fail as a mother not just in doing my mommy duties properly, but also for not being able to instil good manners in him. I feel like a bad mother, guilty for not being a good mom and that his behaviour towards me is a result of my actions towards him.

Patience has never been my greatest virtue. And because of my toddler throwing tantrums, I often find myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And as a result, very often I lose my temper, but how I wish to be like those moms who follow gentle parenting. Some days go by so smooth that I need to pinch myself if I am dreaming. But some days nothing seems to work at all – positive parenting, negative parenting, TV, chips, chocolates (anything and everything for that last strand of sanity). But nothing works. Nothing at all. And the patience of an already patience-deprived mom gets all thinner and thinner. And several times throughout the day I feel like I am failing him as a mother.

Often I have this strikingly contrasting feelings of deep motherly love interspersed with feelings of deep mommy guilt. I am angry and frustrated for struggling to hold it together. Part of my anger I get as heredity from my father, part of it stems from utter exhaustion, part from my toddler’s erratic behaviour and him wreaking havoc in the entire house, but mostly just because of me. But then, I constantly feel guilty when I lose my patience and deal with the situation outside of what I believe to be ideal. I often feel like I am falling into an abscess of insanity and I feel like all I have been doing is yelling and screaming at him when all I want is to be a patient mother, be present for him and having fun together.

I have watched my sanity and patience run out on several occasions earlier, but the other day I completely lost it and spanked my son. Yes, that’s a starkly naked truth and you can judge me all you want. Yes, I have been that mom. Yes, I spanked him in the spur of the moment as I ran out of my patience. I can’t remember what it was for but I was completely aghast and scared out of my wits about how my temper had unleashed on my small kid. And, immediately after, I felt immensely terrible and even before ‘he’ could begin crying I had already started to cry. I have been in tears before for yelling at him, but this was like no other and entirely different altogether.

I cannot begin to (but still dare to) describe how ashamed and embarrassed I am about it. This was one of those times when my lack of patience and sanity gave way to this tremendous meltdown I feel so awful about. We both sat there crying together – he because of physical pain, but mine was more of an emotional one. I cried my eyes out feeling mortified as an upsurge of guilt engulfed me. It was when the crying turned to sobs that suddenly I felt two little hands cup my cheeks. Shaarav stood up abruptly to wipe my tears and with his arms wide open he started saying, “Mummy, hug, Mummy, hug, Mummy hug.” And all I could do was bring him closer to me, hug him tight and shower him with kisses all over his beautiful little face. He was all confused but still managed to let out a sweet smile making me smile back too. Yes, I have been that mom, too.

It’s astounding how children can be exceedingly forgiving without hesitations and reservations. And in that moment, looking into those little tear-ridden eyes but a still cute smiling face, I had the greatest realization of my life. I could see in those little eyes the pain and the love he felt for me – unconditional, selfless love. It made me realize that if my son could love me so much I could never be a bad mother. And, when I would have rather chosen to cringe and feel remorse for my own regretful action, that small gesture of innocent kindness from my little human motivated me to rise to occasions like these. And it dawned on me, it has never been a battle against me and my baby, but it is a war against me and my temper which I need to win and emerge victorious to proclaim the true spirit of motherhood back.

Such is the ebb and flow of motherhood. We are humans after all, and though we like to call ourselves supermoms, we don armours with little cracks shining it through countless battles of courage and valour like these. And I guess it’s allowed. And when my child can forgive me, it’s time I should forgive myself too. So, from now on I dare to break free and take equal pride in accomplishing the hardest job in the whole world of being a mother, and at the same time crushing it no lesser. Because just as my kid needs love, forgiveness, and acceptance I need them too. It’s time I should throw the shame out of my guilt and dare to own the compassion and courage it takes to stand tall for being realistic, honest and vulnerable at the same time.

So here I am, daring to break free of my own limitations and fringes to tame my temper. This fight is worth winning for my tiny human, who believes in me and loves me with all his little heart. Because though I’ve been that mom whose life is filled with plenty of moments that don’t make for pretty pictures, I want my son to have memories of me and our relationship which he can cherish later. So, rather getting drowned in the guilt-tide and dwell on the thing of the past, and instead of feeling sorry and get stuck, I choose to learn and redeem myself and let it go for once and for all. I refuse to get ruled by my temper from now on. I refuse to let go of my quiet amidst the chaos. I promise to practice grace to my little guy and myself. I dare to break free of my guilt, forgive myself and start afresh on my journey for my biggest victory – a gracefully realistic and a vulnerably honest motherhood, in its truest spirits.

And, as I sit to write this piece, I can see my mess-monster from the corner of my eye sending his Lego pieces go flying in the air, here and there (some even managed to hit me), and now they are strewn all over the place (even after being asked not to the 20^th time). But I am sitting here keeping my calm and being chill about it though when I am finished, I will have to clean up the room after him. I am trying to be that mom who is good for both of us. The journey has begun!

This blog post is a part of the Dare-a-thon blog train organized by ‘The Momsteins’. Dare-a-thon features a one-day blog train with 29 daring moms onboard who share their posts on a Dare theme on the event of World Dare Day. This is my first ever participation in a blog train and it was really fun, exciting and a privilege to be a part of. In the same context, I would like to thank “the Momsteins” for letting me join for the fun. I would like to thank Sonia Chaudhary of Maxmumsonia for introducing me. Sonia is a fellow mom who shares the varied emotions of her motherhood journey of raising a lovely daughter. And in turn, I would like to introduce Akanksha of Mummatolilmissy to carry forward the train. Join her as she begins her blogging journey with this blog train. Please check out their posts on daring stories shared by them as well as other wonderful posts on the theme by other boarders as well. Here comes the train! Choo Choo!

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Hosted By :

#MyLittleMuffin

#TheMomSagas

#Mummasaurus

10 pointers on how I learned to be a happier mom

On May 27, 2018May 27, 2020 By Sweta KachhapIn Motherhood4 Comments

Have you wondered what prevents you from being a happier mom and enjoying the enriching motherhood experience? Motherhood fills your days and nights with countless moments of sheer pleasure, utter happiness and pure bliss. But apart from a thanklessly rewarding experience that motherhood is it also comes with its fair share of discontentment, frustrations, anger and bickering. Though most of the times the joyous ride of motherhood overtakes the chaos which motherhood brings with it, there are times when ‘unhappiness and despair’ hidden in those dreamy moments can pop its head outweighing the happiness and can rob you of the otherwise rich and rewarding experience. The stress of responsibilities and obligations might start to rob you of the joy of motherhood and a big chunk of your happiness as a parent and a mother might go missing. But, happiness is an elusive state which is more than the simple fleeting positive emotions and a smiley face. Rather, happiness is a state of well-being which encompasses a good, satisfying life with a deeper meaning and purpose making it worthwhile.

My kid gives me the greatest pleasures of my life, but raising a happy kid entails a lot of chaos and drama along with a heap of laundry and other responsibilities. But I want to keep it real; I have been that mom where I was losing the joy of motherhood in the shuffle of the obligations and the jumble of stress. I was beginning to lose my calm and poise due to being worn out both physically and emotionally. And an irritable and impatient ‘me’ was taking over an otherwise calm and composed ‘me’. But don’t we all know that only a happy mother can raise a happy baby and I do not want my relationship with my kid to suffer because I am not happy. The innocent smile on my child’s face gives me more happiness goals than anything or even anyone else for that matter could ever give. And that is why I make conscious efforts not to let some pointless unhappy moments to take away my happiness and ruin my motherhood journey.

So here are some tips and learning which have helped me maintain my happy, become a happy person and an even happier mom and make motherhood more enjoyable and enriching:

1) Learn to value yourself and your motherhood

The responsibilities that come along with raising a baby can sometimes feel like drudgery. Doing heaps of laundry, wiping noses and bums and cleaning after the baby day in and day out was feeling a lot like drudgery to me and was getting to wear me out. And so the first and foremost step that I took towards becoming a happier mom was to learn my value and the value of what I was doing. It is very important to understand that whatever you do for your child today, whether it is cooking a meal, kissing boo-boos, reading stories or playing hide and seek, goes a long way. It has a deep impact on the connection that you have with your child. It not only adds up to develop a strong, healthy bond between the two of you but also helps you become a happier and effective mother. Being positive with motherhood brought meaning to my life and gave it a new dimension. I just had to believe that even when I wear pyjamas or yoga pants I was still amazing for my kid and family who couldn’t do without me. Each little thing I do for them, which may seem insignificant and invaluable is in fact very crucial to bring me closer and make them feel secure and happy.

2) Label your feelings and admit when stressed

Labelling my emotions and feelings and admitting when I was stressed actually solved half of the problem. When I started to label my feelings and describe in a word how I was feeling it not only helped me to identify my emotions but helped me to also deal with it better. Stress, frustration and anger are common emotions that go hand in hand with motherhood. It would be a big fat lie to say motherhood is all fuzzy and rosy the entire time. But it becomes easier when you accept the reality. It will be a lot easier if you know that it is perfectly normal to feel stressed, or frustrated or angry. The feelings these emotions doesn’t make you a bad mother. Rather, when you accept and label them it helps you to overcome them easily.

3) Sort your priorities

Being a mother is not easy. From the instant you open your eyes in the morning and to the moment you close your eyes at night there are endless tasks and chores you need to get done in the limited hours you have. Most days I found the time insufficient to complete all the chores and they just keep on piling. That’s a pretty common picture of any household with small kids and mine is no different. But despite knowing that it can become easily daunting and get you overwhelmed. So in order to become a happier mom, what came handy for me in this scenario was prioritizing my chores. Some things need immediate attention while others can wait for the next day or even two. Also, how much of each work needs to done can also be prioritized. Don’t let the surmounting work come in the way of watching and enjoying your little miniatures grow and turn into amazing human beings. Because the time that you spend with your children is the one that’s going to matter and not the time you spend doing laundry and dishes. At the end of the day it is how you spend your time with your family making memories that is going to count.

4) Appreciate and savour the moment

Motherhood is a thankless job, but its beauty lies not in being a nitpicker, but in appreciating the things as they are and savouring those moments. Believe me when I say you can save a lot of your sanity by just doing that and inch a little closer to become a happier mom. When you have small kids, those toothless or toothy smiles, those wet kisses and those soft cuddles are the sort of thank yous you’re going to get. Rejoice in the beauty of the moment. Savouring those little moments and creating beautiful memories out of them is what you will look back and cherish. The life of a mother is difficult, I totally agree. But finding your perfect moments in those imperfect moments is the art that you need to master to keep your happy. Life will give you lemons, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to cringe on them or prepare lemonades. It’s not always easy to nourish and propagate positive emotions, but a little effort towards it goes a long way. And don’t you think it’s all worth it?

5) Feel grateful

Gratitude is a habit we all need to cultivate in ourselves. Why do I say this? Because gratitude forms the basis of my journey towards being a happier mom. There are going to be tough days, that’s true, but finding good in even the worst harbours positive feelings and opens doors to happiness and satisfaction. Appreciating and being grateful for the riches you have not only lets you live a fulfilling life, but also helps you maintain your equilibrium and sanity. When you have optimism embedded in your habit, you are less likely to get dazed and have a setback. Feeling grateful and acknowledging others for their good not only act as great mood busters but practicing gratitude also prevents the bad days from getting the best of you. Happiness then becomes a journey rather than a destination.

6) Don’t be harsh on yourself

Perfection is a myth and the sooner you kept abreast with this reality the sooner you reclaimed your happy. We all want the best for our kids and strive very hard to achieve that. And in the process, we set the standards so high that we become too harsh on ourselves. I can understand how much you love cleanliness, but sometimes it’s perfectly OK to let things remain messy if you are too much exhausted. I personally sometimes get exhausted to the bone and still have things that need immediate attention. But I let it go. I don’t push myself too hard and just let it go. But I have learned along the way not to get too obsessed and stress over it unnecessarily. So if you sometimes find my bedroom messy and laundry is undone, that’s because I have decided to go easy on myself. And I don’t find anything wrong with that if I can steal some happiness out of it. So whatever you might find causing you stress, you should let it go. I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to be reasonable with yourself just as you need to be reasonable with others. And this is what will take you closer to being a happier mom.

7) Reconnect with your spouse

My marriage and my relationship with Mr. Husband started taking a backseat since the moment we conceived. Because from that moment onwards anything and everything has been about the baby. And as a consequence our own love story became usurped by our baby love. But one thing I learned before my obsession with my baby could make a permanent dent on my relationship with Mr. Husband was to reconnect with him and keep strengthening the connection with small and simple gestures of love. It’s understandable that the early years of parenthood can be stressing for both the spouses, but it should also be kept in mind that to remain happier you need to keep working on your relationship with your spouse just as you need with the baby. Do not keep your relationship for some tomorrow and also do not let your relationship with your spouse suffer because of your relationship with your baby. Read more about how we kept our relationship alive after the baby as we started looking at our relationship in a new light in my earlier post “Are you ready for a new perspective in relationship goals?”

8) Find friends and ask for help

Motherhood takes up so much time and space of a mother in raising a baby that it begins to feel lonely and burdened at times. A mother needs help not only physically, but also emotionally. And who could better understand a mom’s problems than a fellow mom herself. Getting to share the mixed feelings and emotions that a mother feels, be acknowledged and truly understood requires a fellow mother who has gone or going through the same ordeal helps so much. The hustle and bustle of motherhood and be really overwhelming and a little help doesn’t hurt anyone. To become a happier mom you shouldn’t feel shy or guilty to reach out and ask for help and you will be surprised how good it can feel – to be connected and be happy.

9) Set up a routine and hack your sleep

I have said this before and I am saying it yet again, sleep is the first thing a mother sacrifices for her child. But it’s also true that a sleep-deprived mom is hard to be happy. Having a good sleep can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel. You must have got lots of advice from well-meaning people to sleep when the child sleeps, but I know it’s easier said than done. And being a mother you would rather choose to get some work done when your child sleeps. But believe me, if you are missing out on your sleep you are depriving yourself of enjoying motherhood to the fullest. This is where getting a routine in place helps. I feel setting up a routine gives me a sense of feeling organized, gets my work done on time and also helps me squeeze time to catch up on my sleep. Setting up a routine for the day not only makes you know what to expect from your day, but also makes it easier for my family and baby. Don’t let sleep stand in your way to become a happier mom, find the hack that works best to catch-up some sleep and recharge your batteries to be the supermom that your kid knows.

10) Make time to pursue your own interests

Making time to pursue your hobby is probably the best thing you could do to become happier. Being a mother does take up a major amount of your time, but it does not ask you to give up on things that you love and enjoy doing. It never asks you to give up your sense of self. You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself away from the baby. This would only bring you closer to being you and being happy without ripping you off your motherhood. Only recently I have come to this realization and you can read all about it in my earlier post “Motherhood might be my religion, but I am more than just a mother.”

Motherhood is a blessing, but it’s hard not to get consumed and lose yourself in fulfilling responsibilities. But there shouldn’t be any room for discontentment and motherhood should be enjoyed with a true motherhood spirit. This is the time to soak up these moments before they become memories and get your mom-groove back with these effective pointers.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

I am learning how to grow my blog with Neha from Bloggingmadeeasier.com. In case if you are interested in joining for next batch – Join grow your blog challenge here (https://bloggingmadeeasier.com/grow-your-blog-challenge-fundamentals-of-a-profitable-blog/)

Motherhood might be my religion, but I am more than just a mother

On May 10, 2018May 16, 2020 By Sweta KachhapIn Motherhood, Parenting13 Comments

There’s so much more to me than just being a mother!

Now that Mother’s Day is just around the corner this post perfectly sums up my one-and-a-half-year journey as a mother so far. Earlier I used to celebrate Mother’s Day as a daughter, but after becoming a mother myself celebrating Mother’s day as a mother has been quite something. Being a mother to my little man is perhaps the greatest thing I’ll ever do in my entire life. Motherhood has changed me inside out.

But did you hear the news?

Motherhood is the new religion.

And I am a follower. Yes for me motherhood is not just a feeling, a sentiment or an emotion, but a religion, a calling.

Why do I say it’s a religion?

Of course, motherhood can’t be a hobby since we don’t collect babies because we find them cute or we are bored. But motherhood for me is definitely a religion because the amount of faith, belief, and sanctity that goes in it is comparable to any other religion of the world. Motherhood holds a distinct sacred place in a person’s life and influences and shapes her personality. This religion called motherhood is mostly moulded by the beliefs our own mothers followed and those that we have faith in. And just like any religion, though motherhood is extremely personal and mothers differ in their style of parenting, it amazes me how motherhood forms a common belief, a common faith that ties and unites all mothers across the globe.

I love being a mother and there’s no doubt about that. Since the day I became a mother, I have been striving to provide the best in my ability for my baby and to be the best mother for him that I could ever be. But not long ago I started noticing that in my attempt to wing this entire ‘mom-role’ I somehow started to lose myself along the way. I was beginning to lose my identity. And the feeling of not being able to recognize myself was awful. But I am happy that it didn’t take me long to come to this realization and I was spared from being trapped in the dreadful feeling of lost identity. Because I have realized that the deeper and longer I let myself into the situation the harder it would have been recovering from it.

I have spent my entire time as a mother thinking, searching and creating ways to make a perfect world for my baby to live and grow in. I have been putting great thought, effort and time in choosing the right kind of toy and activity for him that could aid the most in his development along with the fun and enjoyment. There have been countless hours spent with my toddler enacting rhymes and poems, calling and talking to animals and plants, dancing our butts out on some random commercial on the television and telling him instantly woven imaginary stories. Though the activities I do with him are never planned but yes the effort that goes in devising them are definitely careful and deliberate.

It’s true that being a mother takes up most of my time, but it’s not just that. This wonderfully gracious title given by my baby goes beyond just my time, it spans my space as well – space in my mind, space in my heart and space in my life. It has been so consuming that I had almost forgotten that before being a mother I was a good athlete, an avid reader, occasional diary writer, music lover, hobby singer and an art and craft enthusiast. My friends envied me for having such diverse talent and that Shaarav could learn so much from me. But since his birth, I’ve rarely had the time to follow my passion and pursue my hobbies. My time is so full and my schedule so jam-packed in creating a perfect world for my kid that I have forgotten about the things that once made my world bright.

Just a few days back, suddenly my eyes wandered over to my old diary that sat there on one corner of my desk. It once used to be an old friend back in the days and has seen through my every thick and thin. A little dust had settled on it since it had gone without being used for so long. As I began dusting it off so many memories attached to it came flashing back. A smile lit up my face and a sense of satisfaction rippled through my body as I began turning through the yellow-turned pages. At that moment I rediscovered myself and I made a promise to myself that I will introduce my son to all those shades of my personality which enriched me but was long forgotten. I made a promise that I will rediscover myself again, but this time with my son. Because my son needs to know who I am, not just as his mother, but also as a human who walks on the face of this earth with many other shades of her personality.

Yet I questioned myself. Should I feel guilty for taking my time away from my baby and wanting more from my life? Don’t I have the right to find more satisfaction from my life just because I am a mother now? As of now, my entire existence revolves around my baby and my entire being is wrapped around him. But should I let that be the reason why I can’t feed my passions? I love my baby with every piece of my heart and though motherhood might be my religion, I am ‘more than just a mother’. And just as I am not a blind follower of any other religion, I am going to keep my eyes open for motherhood as well. I don’t want to get so consumed, besotted or obsessed with motherhood and my baby that there’s no space in my life for anything else. I don’t want to hold any regrets later in my life just because in my constant focus on my baby I lowered my sight for myself and let my aspirations slip away. I don’t want to let the dreams and visions I’m passionate about getting lulled and lost because I dimmed in my own mind what I thought I was capable of. Instead, I want to be that mother for my kid who inspires him to do more out of his life and to be more, despite the hardships.

It’s difficult to juggle different roles and find a balance between being a mother, being a wife and being an individual person with my own identity. But it’s important that I hold onto these different roles not just to have my sanity but also to make my son remember me not ‘just as a mother’ but also as a person who has passion, purpose, and personality. I want him to know me as a person who enjoys other things too just as she enjoys being a mother, and teaches him to do the same. I want him to know how he helped my heart to grow and make me a better person. And wanting to rediscover my own self and my own identity isn’t going to change my love for my son and the fact that I am his mother.

All this while I had let myself lose amidst my endeavour to provide a perfect world for my son. I had forgotten about the little pleasures and relishes that I found in life before he was born. I had let myself get lost in the shuffle of life. But now it’s time to step back and have my own identity. It’s time to reclaim my passions that I had set aside for some tomorrow. It’s time for me to remember I am so much ‘more than just a mother’. It’s time to re-learn and rediscover ‘myself’.

“Because though motherhood might be my religion, but I am more than just a mother!’

Mothers are special creatures and should be celebrated in a special way. Wishing all the lovely mothers and mothers-to-be out there a very happy and blessed Mother’s Day! Read my other posts on motherhood bliss here: “If this isn’t bliss, then I’m not sure what is!” and “Motherhood bliss: Dream vs reality – Reading between the lines“. You can also read a wonderful article on 5 qualities of a good mother that can be inculcated by Deepshikha and Being Too Harsh On Ourselves – A Perspective of Motherhood by Udita Saklani.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Shaarav’s Annaprashan (First Rice-eating) Ceremony

On May 7, 2018January 13, 2019 By Sweta KachhapIn Child Care and Development, ParentingLeave a comment

Happy parents to this adorable infant on his *Annaprashan*

This was about last year on the same day when we performed the Annaprashan or First rice-eating ceremony for Shaarav at 6 months. Annaprashan holds a special place in the Indian customs and marks the introduction of semi-solid food to the baby. Annaprashan symbolizes the beginning of weaning the baby off breast milk (or formula milk). Some families organize it on a large scale, but we did it just with the close family and friends.

We all know how each first-time is important in a baby’s life. But what marks the biggest milestones of firsts is the tasting of solid food for the very first time. And we as parents had an exciting privilege to witness the event as we celebrated the occasion with family and friends.

Though Shaarav began sitting at around 5 months and began showing interest in our food around the same time, we still waited for him to complete 6 months before introducing him to solid food. Before that, we weren’t even giving him water and he was exclusively breastfed. So to watch his reaction when he first tasted the solid food was just priceless. It marked a big milestone in both Shaarav’s as well as our lives.

Thaali preparation for the *Annaprashan*

All about Annaprashan Ceremony you need to know

“Annaprashan ceremony” or “Annaprashan Sanskar” is a popular Indian tradition which celebrates a child’s transition from breast milk (or formula milk) to solid food. It marks the beginning of weaning the baby off breast milk by introducing him to semi-solid and solid foods. Once the baby has his Annaprashan, he can slowly and gradually be introduced to a variety of other weaning foods following a three-day rule.

The ceremony can be performed between 5^th and 8^th months of a child’s life when the child is ready to make the transition from a liquid diet to a semi-solid or solid diet. Most of the families usually organize it after the completion of 6 months around the time when most of the babies are able to sit with support and have begun to show interest in food that we eat.

Shaarav in a traditional attire with Mommy & Daddy

For performing the Annaprashan ceremony, an auspicious day and time “Annaprashan Muhoorat” was decided upon. I emphasized that day to be on a Sunday so that all the guests could grace the occasion without much hassle. We celebrated the function at home so that Shaarav could be comfortable and take his timely nap without a fuss.

Maama applying Teeka on little Shaarav seated on his lap

On the day of the ceremony, Shaarav was bathed and made to wear new clothes. On occasions like these, we prefer to make him wear ethnic clothes to add up to the occasion. Before the rituals began I decorated the table with a flower flanked by ‘Swastik’ on either side in ‘Roli’ where I kept the prepared ‘Thaali’ (bronze plate). The Thaali was prepared by making a Swastik on it in Roli. The Thaali contained flowers, Roli, ‘Akshat’ (rice grains), ‘Kheer’ in a silver bowl with a silver spoon, a bronze glass with a silver spoon, a bronze ‘Lota’ with mango leaves in it, ‘Poori’ and sweets. Kheer is a sweet dish prepared with rice in milk which is offered to the baby as the first food. Kheer is chosen for the baby’s first food since it is prepared with milk and is considered holy, pure and apt for any auspicious occasion.

Maama offering Kheer to Shaarav in a silver spoon

At the auspicious time, the ceremony started with Shaarav being made to sit on his Maama’s lap (Shaarav’s maternal uncle). Maama is the one who is supposed to feed the baby with the first solid food. Thankfully Shaarav is very fond of his Maama and he sat on his lap very comfortably. His Maama then applied some Roli Teeka and Akshat on his forehead and purified him by sprinkling some holy water on him from the Lota with the help of mango leaves.

Naanu and Daadu taking turns to feed Shaarav and his expression in this pic is just priceless!

Then Shaarav was offered Kheer from a silver bowl with a silver spoon and Poori. Silverware is particularly used for the ritual since the metal is regarded as the most positive of the body. Following this, his Naanu (maternal grandfather) and Daadu (paternal grandfather) took turns to give him Kheer and he ate it making funny faces (giggles!). Later Shaarav was gifted with some gold jewellery, silverware, clothes, toys and lots of blessings as other family members took turns offering him food one after the other.

Naanu playing with Shaarav to keep him calm and entertained

My tips for a safe and smooth Annnaprashan

Our ceremony went very smooth and we sailed through it without any hurdle. But it did need a bit of caution, planning ahead and preparation. Here are some tips which can help you sail through it safely and smoothly just like we did:

1) Prefer the location of the ceremony to be your home so that the baby is acquainted with the place.

2) Limit your guest list to just close family and friends to prevent the baby from getting overwhelmed.

3) Dress the baby in comfortable clothes with soft fabric and no or little embellishments.

4) The baby should be well-fed and rested before the beginning of the ceremony.

5) Baby should be surrounded by known faces during the ceremony so that he does not become cranky and remains calm and comforted.

6) Keep toys or pacifiers ready and handy for distracting the baby.

7) The food offered to the baby should be freshly prepared in hygienic conditions and should be fed after washing the hands thoroughly.

8) The utensils in which the food is offered should also be washed properly and sterilized.

9) Keep a small towel or handkerchief handy for wiping baby’s mouth or to clean up any spilled food.

10) See to it that the baby doesn’t eat more than a few spoonfuls of food to avoid an upset tummy or indigestion.

Shaarav getting gifts on the auspicious occasion

The Significance of Annaprashan Ceremony

Annaprashan ceremony holds a sacred and important place in a child’s life as it signifies a marked change in his life’s journey. Annaprashan ceremony celebrates the significance of food as it provides nourishment to our body and plays a significant part in our lives. And yet again Shaarav’s Annaprashan ceremony proved to be just another excuse to meet relatives and friends and enjoy a fun-filled day. To read about Shaarav’s Mundan ceremony click here.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

The smiling faces tell the story of the fun and happy *Annaprashan* we had

Three days, Three Quotes: Day 3

On April 16, 2018January 13, 2019 By Sweta KachhapIn Challenges, Random10 Comments

This is what true friendship means to me.The quote that I am going to share with you all today is by the greatest English writer of all times, William Shakespeare. It’s amazing how words written so long ago have so much meaning even today. This quote of his speaks volumes to me.

A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. – William Shakespeare

Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, the possession of friendship is the greatest of all. It is rightly said that the quality of your relationships defines the quality of your life. And friendship is one such relationship.

What does the quote mean to me?

To me, the quote means to be and to have that friend who can love me unconditionally, who can appreciate me for the good and criticize me for the bad, have trust in me and who can accept me with all my flaws and shortcomings.

What did the quote give me?

The quote gave me faith and trust. The quote not only opened my eyes to the riches I have as great friends but also made me understand what kind of friend I needed to be for them.

Friends are like colours in a rainbow – each painting our lives with a different colour, making it beautiful. Some friends are like the vivacious red, some like the serene green while some like subtle violet each sharing different hues and shades of joy, sorrow and oh, secrets too.

My friends hold an exceptional place in my life. Though we don’t see, write or even talk very often, yet I always know that whenever I call or meet them we shall start off from where we left. Our friendship will never be diminished by distance or time. Separate lifestyles or family obligations have kept us from staying as close as we’d like to, but through all the changes in our lives spanning both time and distance, we have still been there for each other. The sentiments and emotions that cement our bond are simply wondrous and incomprehensible. They don’t need to be told, they just know.

Friends show us new hopes and ways in the worst days, relieving us from our worries and sorrows. They make you a better person and you can be with them uninhibited and without pretensions sharing with them your darkest secrets and deepest fears. Friends are so much valuable and cherishing.

What did I learn from the quote?

Friendship is such a treasure. But we must first learn to give before we want to receive and learn to truly reciprocate. So in order to have good friends I needed to be a great friend first. I needed to “be” that kind of person I want my friend to be like – to be loving unconditionally, to be understanding without reason, to be trusting without question and to be relying without a doubt.

I dedicate this post to all my friends – near and far, young and old, family and acquaintance, girl and boy, and real and virtual. I feel thankful and indebted to each one of you who have stood by me, entrusted me with their unwavering faith, lightened my burden, been my confidants and encouraged me to grow and be a better person each day. I really am blessed blissfully to have you in my life.

Thank you for considering me to be a GOOD EGG!

Big and final thanks to the beautiful Jena Pendarvis for having me for the Quote Challenge. It was exciting to be a part of this challenge. Thank you for this fun opportunity. Dear readers, don’t forget to pay a visit to her blog and shower her some love. For previous two quotes please follow Day 1 and Day 2.

Rules of the Quote Challenge

1) Thank the person who nominated you

2) Write three consecutive quotes for three days (one quote per day)

3) Nominate three new bloggers each day for the challenge

My Nominees

1) MillennialHygge

2) Head Full of Dreams

3) Quirky Kay

I hope you all have fun playing along!

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine