“I promise to EMPATHISE” – #BlogchatterA2Z


“I promise to EMPATHISE and be better attuned to your feelings, perspectives, and experiences to develop a deeper connection and understanding.”

With this vow, we promise to develop a deeper connection and understanding of each others’ feelings by truly experiencing your emotions.

What does the vow mean?

Empathy is the ability to perceive the world through the eyes of another. It is the ability to understand the feelings and perspectives of another person by stepping into their shoes and guide our actions according to our understanding.

Why do we need to EMPATHISE with our spouse for a healthy and long-lasting relationship?

Empathy is rather an essential component of a successful relationship. When we show empathy the other person feels understood, valued and respected and we garner trust and likeness for ourselves. It is with empathy that we can tap into those genuine human connections and make the most out of our marriage.

Ours is an arranged marriage and we come from different backgrounds with different tastes and perspectives. But when we started empathising we started to be open about ourselves and started taking delight in each other. Empathy helped us bridge the divide between us made us appreciate each other and the life we have created together. It has deepened our marriage through a shared experience, perspective, and understanding.

Now, at six years and counting Mr. Husband and I have started taking each other for granted. Sometimes that’s a good thing because it shows the level of comfort we share in our relationship. But sometimes, when the things are assumed without actually being indicated or spoken about it hurts. So, “I promise to empathise” also means not only to be observant of each others’ feeling and but also to be aware of what’s behind that feeling. It is important to make each other feel welcome in our hearts by focussing on those strengths and qualities that we respect and honour in each other.

Motherhood has left me with some raw emotions. I’d be honest; there have been several times in my motherhood journey that I have found myself on the brink of depression. And if it wasn’t for Mr. Husband who empathised with me I started to feel understood. When he expressed empathy I felt that I was not just being heard, I felt I was listened to and understood and valued. And that is a great feeling. And when I felt I was valued I was willing to give what he wanted. That’s the power of empathy.

So when I say “I promise to empathise” it also means I shall cultivate compassion in my relationship which would help strengthen our bond more and value each other.

Empathising with each other has also been helped us to be non-judgmental of each other, stay calm during a conflict, being and rather look at things from each others’ perspective having attuned to each other.

So “I promise to empathise” also means that by developing fertile ground for empathy we are facilitating our marriage to grow and strengthen boosting positive regards, confidence, and trust in each other. And with empathy as an essential ingredient, we try to sail smoothly through our marriage.

Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet F. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?” here and the previous vow with alphabet D here.


Mrs. Sunshine

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What marriage means to me?

Marriage to me is a conscious choice of choosing us over and over again!

With BlogchatterA2Z Challenge Theme Reveal you have already come to know that I’ll be rededicating my marriage by renewing my wedding vows. But this time around instead of 7 there are going to be 26 vows with 26 alphabets spread across 26 posts. So with this post, let me give you an opening, a sneak peek of what you’ll be getting to read and know about what you may expect from my posts through the entire month.

What do you say when someone asks you what marriage means to you?

Well, when someone asked me the same question I was so stupefied with the question that I stood there tongue-tied gaping at the questioner like a fool. Yeah, that’s what I did. But why didn’t I have anything to say for such a simple question? I was extremely embarrassed at my own lack of expression.

But this really made me ponder and reflect on what marriage truly means to me. And when I truly understood what marriage means to me, I was flabbergasted by the profoundness of its meaning and its significance in my life, rather our life because Mr. Husband and I share more or less the same ideologies. We are similar that way!

So, coming back to the question of what marriage means to me?

Having grown up in a family where my mom and dad followed and practiced a healthy and growing relationship I couldn’t have had a more positive and inconvertible feeling towards this sacred institution.

I wonder if I’d have the same irrefutable feeling had I been raised in a broken marriage. But regardless of that, I still feel marriage to me is much more than just paperwork and legal binding or social affirmation of two couples staying together.

Marriage to me is the “gift for life” as well as the “gift of life”. To me, marriage is a celebration not just for the day that we get married, but for the whole life – celebrating each other as we build a life together.

Marriage to me is a journey of a lifelong commitment to each other through everything – the good parts, the bad parts and everything in between, but out of love and not out of obligation.

Marriage to me is sticking together, no matter what, on days when we’re head over heels in love with each other, but mostly on days where we’d rather leave each other alone and not see each others’ faces. It means sticking together even when things get inevitably difficult and we’d rather find it easy to walk away desperately wanting to start over and start afresh.

Marriage to me is to share not just the last name or the same bed or the same closet. Marriage is sharing a family, sharing the joys and sorrows – sharing a life.

Marriage to me is choosing to say “I love you” every day building a life together not just over countless conversations – some serious, some nonsensical, myriad of fights and disagreements – some logical some, illogical, not just over annoyance and mundanity, but also over pure happiness and sheer joy, the kind that makes your heart flutter and makes the journey worth it.

So, here’s a small poem I wrote about what marriage means to me:

Marriage to me is a beautiful song

Of forgiveness when one is wrong

To be singing when one gets hurt

Giving them reasons to stay strong!

Marriage to me is treasure and wealth

A lifelong commitment until comes death

To find them the light when one gets lost

And to stick together in sickness and in health!

Marriage to me is a remarkable way

To celebrate life, make merry, and to play

But also when it gets rough and one gets sad

To be present for them to save the day!

Marriage to me is a gift for life

Where you either be one or get a wife

You strive to grow and build a life together

And have a family to cherish as a gift of life!

No wonder I was dumbfounded by the question. Sometimes when it means so much it’s hard to express it in just a few words. Sometimes when it means so much it’s easy to write volumes of books on it. But hold your thought right there, I’d rather suffice with this small blog post for what it means to me. And when marriage means so much to me, it’s only coherent that I renew my vows and rededicate my marriage with this person to whom I’m bound to for now and forever. Join us as we redefine our marriage this April.

And I would definitely love to hear your views and opinions to this question – “What marriage means to you?” in the comments below.


Mrs. Sunshine

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