“I promise to be OPEN-MINDED and learn to entertain new ideas and be accepting and embrace each other without prejudices.”
With this vow, we promise to always be willing to entertain new ideas and beliefs.
What does the vow mean?
Open-mindedness is defined as the willingness to consider new ideas, unprejudiced. It means to be aware and be willing to listen and take new points of view.
Why do we need to OPEN-MINDED for a satisfying relationship?
Being open-minded in a marriage is very vital for a healthy relationship. Mr. Husband and I come from different family backgrounds and have been raised with a particular set of beliefs and values. We both consider ourselves fairly open-minded but we both have some pretty strong opinions about certain things which we find it very difficult to deter from. And we often come across instances when we really don’t quite come to terms about a particular decision on a certain issue. That’s a really difficult situation to be in and we definitely struggle through it, believe me. But with time we have realized that having an open mind helps us to look at the matter from a different perspective.
So, when I say that “I promise to be open-minded” I mean that I am willing to be accepting and willing to entertain and let new beliefs to come in,
Being open-minded helps us to free our minds from limiting ideas and thoughts opening our mind beyond the boundaries and to consider different alternatives. Having an open-minded approach in our marriage has enhanced our ability to love and be loved allowing us to be more accepting and to have a deeper and more meaningful relationship.
So “I promise to be open-minded” also means that we are willing to expand our knowledge to be able to consider different possibilities and solutions to a problem without passing judgment.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet P. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet N here.
“I promise to NURTURE your dreams and ambitions, and celebrate our relationship through both failures and triumphs.”
With this vow, we promise to always cherish each other’s dreams, feed one another’s passions celebrate each other through the successes and failures.
What does the vow mean?
Nurture is defined as helping something grow and develop. So if we are nurturing something we want it to grow and flourish.
Why do we need to NURTURE for a gratifying relationship?
Everybody has their own dreams and ambitions which make their soul shine through them. And sometimes when we are getting into a relationship or in a marriage we are even impressed and attracted towards our partner’s dreams.
But in the hustle of life, we get so busy that we tend to forget what it was like to know your partner’s dream and see that twinkle in their eyes when they talk about it. It is very foolish of us to think that love or even marriage is self-sustaining when partners are so comfortable in love. Nothing is self-sustaining. It’s the biggest illusion one can have. Marriage needs to be fed and nurtured continuously through the ups and downs of life.
Every relationship, be it love or marriage, it needs nurturing. Nurturing, in fact, is a very important attribute in a married life which can bring about a big difference in the relationship. Nurturing is like a step towards knowing, understanding and honouring your partner’s dream and helping enough to work towards achieving them.
So, when I say that “I promise to nurture” I mean that we are willing to rekindle that lost spark of reaching for our dreams that tend to lose its lustre as we juggle our busy lives.
When we have spent so much time together we become so comfortable in love that we begin taking each other for granted. We forget to remember and cherish the beauty and worth of small things that usually go unnoticed and unappreciated. But it is through the act of nurturing that we can renew the lost charm and burnish our relationship again.
So, “I promise to nurture” also mean that we are willing to constantly renew our relationship by simple yet consistent acts of ingenuity and consideration and not let our marriage fall in the background. It means we choose to care enough about each other to create unique experiences for each other and not just feed individual dreams, but also have shared dreams and work towards them.
Mr. Husband has been this unwavering source of inspiration for my dreams. He’s like the wind beneath my wings; he not only motivates me to follow my dreams but also helps me in my journey of achieving them. We are growing our marriage into something very beautiful through the act of nurturing, are you?
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet O. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet M here.
“I promise to be MINDFUL and pay loving attention to you and the life we have built honouring one another with love and care.”
With this vow, we promise to always be aware and attentive to each other’s needs and treating each other with love, care, and mindfulness.
What does the vow mean?
A dictionary defines mindfulness as the trait of staying aware and paying close attention to your responsibilities. But being mindful in a marriage is not just about the responsibilities. It is about how well we can be tuned to our partner’s feelings, emotions, needs, and thoughts to be able to be attentive and accepting towards them without being judgmental. Being mindful is about being there for your partner at that moment and letting your thoughts concurring with your feelings.
Why do we need to be MINDFUL towards our spouse for a healthy and long-lasting relationship?
Mindfulness is a really great marital virtue when it comes to having a healthy and growing marriage. When we are in our “honeymoon phase” we have these very strong emotions and feelings about each other that usually cloud our eyes and make us overlook the flaws which might have been an issue had we not been blinded by love-crazed hormones. But before we know it the honeymoon phase is over and it is then that the disagreements begin to surface.
Marriage is a long journey and there come many moments when we are bound to have disagreements and arguments which may get escalated and heated up pretty easily. It is in those moments when we need to be mindful the most because most of the time we can’t possibly take back what’s been said in a heated moment when we don’t even mean it actually. So, when I say “I promise to be mindful”, it means that we are willing to regulate our own responses and to completely accept each other.
Abusing, name-calling and violence is a strict “NO” in our marriage, not even by mistake. Because we both know that once it gets started it can only get so mean and filthy from there. So, “I promise to be mindful” also means we are willing to be mindful and aware of not just our ways and words, but also our feelings. It means cultivating a non-judgmental awareness of your partner’s feelings and thoughts and not labelling them “right” or “wrong”. Practicing mindfulness early in our marriage has helped us steer clear of any major conflicts and hurling abuses because, with the value of mindfulness, we refrain from judging each other and be completely accepting of one another.
Mindfulness requires us to invest extra time and energy into understanding and being aware of each other’s feelings and emotion. But the thing it has to offer in the long run is totally worth it. Over the years our relationship has evolved exponentially. We have come a long way through our fair share of peace as well as challenging times. But by being mindful of each other through successes and failures, ups and downs, shining moments of glory and despicable moments of shame, we have grown and transcended into this blissful marital bond that’s beautiful beyond words.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet N. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet L here.
“I promise to LAUGH with you together in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow making the journey fun, exciting and worthwhile.”
With this vow, we promise to laugh together and cry together at things with one another and make it light and overcome the challenges together.
What does the vow mean?
Humour is defined as the quality of being funny and laughter is the act of showing or feeling pleasure or happiness. A sense of humour and the ability to make one laugh is one of the most sought after attributes in a partner. Why you ask? It’s because the kind of sense of humour a person has tells a lot about his personality and the kind of relationship we can expect from him. A good sense of humour is by far the most attractive and desirable quality in a spouse.
Why is it important to LAUGH for a happy and satisfying marriage?
When Mr. Husband came to see me for the first time the other quality I noticed in him which appealed to me the most apart from his decency was his sense of humour. While people look for different things in a partner for compatibility, I was looking for humour compatibility. And luckily I got it in Mr. Husband.
Isn’t it amazing to genuinely laugh at each other’s jokes and be goofy about it? In a marriage, it works wonders. Finding humour in our day to day lives has helped us cope with not just small challenges but also with the tragic. Laughing is such a mood elevator and stress buster. But it’s more so when you laugh together and share the same joy and sense of humour that the enjoyment is doubled. We have realized that when we find reasons to laugh together we feel more connected, relaxed and happy with each other.
So, when I say that “I promise to laugh” it means I am willing to integrate humour in our lives and choose to laugh at and with one another and at our circumstances.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet M. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet K here.
“I promise to be KIND and considerate of one another, be thoughtful of our feelings and needs and cultivate benevolence in our relationship.”
With this vow, we promise to always treat one another with kindness and be thoughtful and considerate to each other putting each other’s needs and feelings before our own.
What does the vow mean?
According to a dictionary, kindness is defined as the quality of being warm-hearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic. An act of kindness can be a simple thing, but it can be revolutionary in marriage since it is transformative. And though a simple thing we need strength and courage to show kindness.
Why do we need to be KIND towards one another for a healthy and happy marriage?
There’s no one thing that makes a marriage healthy and happy. But if I were to point out one major interpersonal skill that we require in a marriage to make it beautiful then it’s definitely going to kindness. Kindness is one attribute that’s a must in any marriage for it to be satisfying. Marriage is more about what you give than what you get. Being kind towards your partner harbours positive feelings in each other and propagates warmth and affection in the relationship.
Kindness doesn’t just mean being “nice” to each other. Our partners deserve every bit of our compassion and kindness considering the fact that we may not what they might be experiencing at work or at home. So the best we can do is being gentle towards them and offer kind and affectionate words. Kindness in words propagates confidence, but kindness in thinking and feeling propagates profoundness and love respectively.
So when I say “I promise to be kind” it also means that we are willing to be positive, affirming and compassionate about one another validating each other’s likes, feelings, and desires. Kindness also means being happy for your partner and being open about it.
Being kind doesn’t mean we are not allowed to have fights and arguments or have negative feelings. We don’t particularly have control over our feelings and reactions, but we sure do have control over our actions and how we choose to act upon our feelings. Being kind means you are willing to be considerate towards your partner and treat them with generosity. Also, an act of kindness is always remembered and acts as a buffer mitigating the feelings of hurt and anger and helping reestablish peace and harmony.
But we can never be kind to another person if we are not kind to ourselves. So, when I say “I promise to be kind” it also means that apart from being thoughtful of each other’s needs and desires, we are also willing to take good care of ourselves as well as treat ourselves with kindness and compassion. Being kind also means to treat them the way they want to be treated rather than the way we’d want to be treated.
A little kindness can go a long way and in marriage change the entire dynamics if we choose to add a little kindness to our everyday life. A smile when I offer coffee, a touch when I hand him lunch, appreciation on a nice shirt, a kiss when he leaves for office or greeting him with a smile when he’s back from office are some of the things I do on a daily basis as a way of showing affection towards Mr. Husband. I may not be able to control what he goes through the entire day, but I can certainly do my bit to help him get through the day. Our marriage is built with kindness and we have abundant kindness in our marriage.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet L. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet J here.
“I promise JUSTNESS and equality in our relationship, to be fair and to honour you as an individual besides our relationship.”
With this vow, we promise to always treat each other with fairness and justness and find a balance between individual needs as well as the needs of the relationship.
What does the vow mean?
If we go by the dictionary meaning, justness and equality mean free from favouritism or self-interest or bias or deception; conforming with established standards or rules. Equality means partners in a marriage see and treat each other as equals, with respect, taking into account each other’s needs, and supporting one another towards the achievement of a shared goal.
Why do we need JUSTNESS for a gratifying marriage?
Justness plays a very important role in our marriage. Nothing is more vital and gratifying in a marriage than seeing the marital union as fair and just. Though I believe in gender roles, I am all about gender equality and equality as partners in the relationship. But in our marriage more than equality, it’s about justness – it’s about how fairly we treat each other.
Justness in marriage is about understanding and working towards the needs of your spouse as an individual apart from the needs of the relationship. It means that in all fairness of the relationship the individual needs should not be ignored or disregarded.
So, when I say “I promise justness” it means I am willing to recognize and respect Mr. Husband’s needs besides addressing the needs of our relationship. It’s about working a balance between my needs, my partner’s needs and the needs of the relationship.
In our household, Mr. Husband is providing for the family while I am a stay-at-home mom and look after the baby. So, for us, the justness is more about equality through teamwork rather than equality through division. In our marriage, we find it just to do work together rather than assigning separate work to each. Mr. Husband is a very involved parent and apart from nursing, he has been helping in each and every baby chore. He doesn’t feel shy to help me out with the dishes and laundry as well while he also has to work 8-hour shifts at his office. If it wasn’t for the fair approach that we decided on before marriage, I could have been struggling with dissatisfaction and resentment. So, “I promise justness” also means sharing goals and working at it together as a team to achieve it.
With justness in a marriage comes understanding and trust– understanding that your spouse is possibly doing all he can and trusting that whatever he is doing is for mutual good. And by cultivating the marital virtue of justness we are working to achieve more than just equality, we are progressing towards a more gratifying marriage on the common grounds of justness with mutual reciprocity of our ability to lovingly cooperate and adjust.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet K. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet I here.
“I promise to be HOPEFUL for us for today and tomorrow and to see light at the end of the tunnel when probably there isn’t any and believe in endless possibilities.”
With this vow, we promise to always expect and wish to see a silver lining in every dark cloud and overcome our fears to convert them into undying trust in each other and our marriage.
What does the vow mean?
Hope is defined as earnest anticipation that comes with believing something good. Hope is a confident belief and a peaceful assurance that every dark cloud has a silver lining. Being hopeful means you have faith that belief that makes you trust in things trying and challenging times. Being hopeful means you are being optimistic and willing to look beyond the obvious.
Why do we need to be HOPEFUL for a fulfilling marriage?
Every marriage is challenging and complex, and there’s no denying that. We have had our share of ups and downs when everything seemed like falling apart. There have been challenging and trying times in our marriage when it seemed like it is not going to work. But soon we realized that when we chose to self-reflect in our marriage we could even transform the painful experiences into growth.
When I say “I promise to be hopeful” it means that rather than focus on the hurt, pain, and disappointment I am willing to concentrate and emphasize positive memories.
Hope is such a simple word but with profound meaning and can be just the right thing in difficult times. Hope stems from the faith and though we cannot see it hope still is the substance of what we believe. We believe in us and so we are willing to practice commitment through the challenges.
Our hope in our marriage is formed out of the image and desire of the life we want for us and the belief that we can have it if we work towards it. Being hopeful gives me the power to see our relationship in a new light of reassurance and to believe that there’s a window of opportunity with endless possibilities.
When I say “I promise to be hopeful” I mean I am willing to find ways to stay in love and stay married when it becomes easier to call it quits. Hope alone can mean the difference between giving up on something and hanging in there. Without faith, there is no hope, and without hope, there is no true faith.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet I. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet G here.
“I promise to FORGIVE and seek forgiveness and to always reach for you over my pride to hold and to heal you when you are hurt.”
With this vow, we promise to always reach out to each other over our pride and seek forgiveness if we have hurt, and grant forgiveness if we’ve been hurt allowing to heal and grow together.
What does the vow mean?
Forgiveness is a process that allows you to feel liberated by making you release anger and pain and allowing you to feel stronger and less vulnerable. Forgiveness is the very first step in any relationship that helps in moving forward and helps in healing and restoring as well as earning trust. Forgiveness is not only a gift of freedom that we choose to give ourselves but is also giving each other a healthy relationship unhampered by anger, hurt or resentment.
Why do we need to FORGIVE and seek forgiveness for a satisfying and fulfilling marriage?
Humans are prideful and egoistic beings. As humans, we are bound to make mistakes because to err is only human. Some mistakes we commit intentionally while some are totally unintended. And we are bound to hurt or be hurt. And in our marriage, we don’t even promise that we’ll never hurt each other because sometimes even the best intentions fall short.
I’ll tell you about the incident. It was Mr. Husband’s first birthday after marriage and we were living in different cities at the time. So I planned to surprise him by paying him a visit on his birthday. But when I reached there he did something which made me really disappointed in him. I was about to leave and return back feeling betrayed and hurt.
But what he did after was really unexpected. He literally begged me not to leave kneeling before me. He was really sorry and ashamed for what he had done and he started to cry asking for forgiveness. If you have ever seen your man cry for any reason you must know how it feels. And all I could do was hold him close and comfort him. We had both started to weep. His was because of the shame and fright that I might leave and mine was not because I was hurt but because I had never seen him broken like this before. He has always been a man of calm and composure. We stayed holding each other for very long – he weeping and asking for forgiveness and me comforting him. This moment has been forever etched in our memories. It was beyond magical. He sought forgiveness because he wanted this relationship more than anything and I granted him forgiveness to show my faith in him and our marriage. It is this kind of magical experience that makes forgiveness not only vital but also necessary in our marriage.
And we both felt that forgiveness was such a liberating act. I did feel extremely hurt for his actions but had I been festering my wounds holding on to the hurt it would have resulted in bitterness and ultimately, hatred. Rather I chose to let it go allowing both of us to heal and grow. Forgiveness is not the easiest of acts but the most liberating of all.
So when I say, “I promise to forgive” I mean I am willing to learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness to show faith in our marriage and keep it healthy allowing both of us to heal and grow and retain harmony.
Marriage needs forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting it or you can’t be hurt again. Forgiveness means that you are showing faith in the relationship to let things go and move forward with life. So when I say “I promise to forgive” it also means that we care enough for our relationship to give each other another chance by willing to get rid of the hurt, disappointment, and shame, breaking the cycle of bitterness and resentment and providing opportunities to move forward. Practicing forgiveness in our marriage allows us to bring peace of mind and satisfaction making us feel more connected.
We both have “fumbled” plenty of times in our marriage and it is natural and commonplace because not all days are rainbows and sunshine. We have plenty of misunderstandings, disagreements, and conflicts but we practice grace in our marriage and have learned to forgive allowing ourselves to keep bitterness away, mature in our faith and grow together. To grant forgiveness takes strength and so does accepting your fault and seeking forgiveness but it truly takes two forgivers for a happy marriage. And we are on that path already.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet G. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet E here.
“I promise to BELIEVE and have faith in us, me and our relationship, and to strengthen our confidence without reservations for whatever life hands us.”
With this vow, we promise to always believe in ourselves, each other, and our relationship. We promise to have and show confidence in each other to deal with whatever life hands us without any fear, apprehensions, and reservations and see our relationship as a place of comfort and a platform for growth.
What does the vow mean?
Belief is the secret magical ingredient that is a must for a healthy everlasting relationship and a good marriage. Belief is when you place your complete confidence and loyalty in someone. Belief is when you have deep faith in someone free from any doubts which have a positive influence on their self-esteem. When I say “I promise to believe” it means I have genuine and complete confidence in you and your actions without any fear and apprehensions.
Believing in our relationship and in our marriage is by far the greatest way we practice to make our lives better. And our willingness to believe that we are in the right relationship with the right person for all the right reasons is what makes us a happy couple who are blissfully married.
Why do we need to BELIEVE in the relationship for a healthy marriage?
Believe in yourself
The kind relationships we have with others are always mirrors reflecting the kind of relationship we have with ourselves. We can have a thriving relationship and a happy marriage only when we have a thriving relationship with ourselves. And it’s because we tend to reflect our own beliefs and faiths in the people who we are in relationships with.
People who are happy with themselves reflect that in their relationships as well. And the people who are happy can do this is because they have found their true identity, they believe in themselves and love their innermost being. And those who fail to find their true identity within themselves look upon others to define them, inviting unhappiness in their own lives as well as when in a relationship with others.
So when I say ‘I promise to believe” it also means that I am willing to believe in myself because I have realized that since the relationship I have with Mr. Husband will be mirroring the kind of relationship I have with myself I need to have a positive and healthy relationship with my own self.
There was a time when I was on my lowest self-esteem and had lost all sense of self-worth. That was the time when I was having a strained relationship with Mr. Husband. And it was only when Mr. Husband showed confidence and belief in me and our relationship, that I could overcome my fears and started gaining back my lost belief in myself. And it was then that loving me became admittedly easier, I started to develop back my confidence and also my ability to connect back meaningfully with Mr. Husband. A lot in our marriage depends on the belief that we have in each other.
Believe in the relationship
Relationships are perplexing in nature and marriage is the next level kind of relationship where we commit for our whole lives. So it does need to have some amount of belief, faith, and loyalty to keep it flourishing. When we say we believe in someone it fills them with confidence to do much better in their lives and this can help boost the happiness factor in the relationship.
Relationships are mirrors that reflect our own beliefs. So in our marriage, we promise not only to believe in each other and our relationship but to also believe in ourselves. And we also practice to show faith and boost confidence in each other when one loses it. Because in our marriage, we believe that it’s not only our duty to make ourselves happy, but it is also our duty to make each other happy. And with a strong belief in ourselves, each other and our relationship each day we are striving to find happiness and fulfilment in our marriage. So, yeah, if you ask that one secret ingredient that we add to our marriage is definitely “Belief”. Go ahead. Add a little more belief in your marriage. You might be surprised!
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet C. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet A here.
Love,
Mrs. Sunshine
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