“I promise to COMMUNICATE fully, fearlessly and effectively not only to convey my feelings to you, but also to listen to yours and establish a better understanding.”
With this vow, we promise to establish a true understanding by not only voicing one’s own feelings, but also making sure to listen to what the other has to say, and be open-minded to see things from their perspective.
What does the vow mean?
The dictionary meaning of communication says it is the transfer of information from one person to another. But, communication in relationships and especially in marriage is much more than the transfer of information; it is how we interact and connect with people around us. Communication brings transparency in a relationship which helps build and strengthen the trust, confidence, and bonding between two people. And good communication means we respect our partner enough to be honest and true to them.
Relationships are built around communication and communication is very important in a healthy marriage. While relationships reflect how we are perceived and how we are valued, the way we communicate reflects the kind of relationship we hope to have.
How important it is to COMMUNICATE with your spouse for a healthy marriage?
Communication is very important in a marriage and the effectiveness of communication decides the quality of your relationship. We need to communicate to develop a better understanding and get connected to our spouses on a deeper level.
Communication without a doubt is the cornerstone of our loving marriage. It has been playing a crucial role in our relationship since the time we were engaged to be married. We were in a long distance relationship during our courtship period when we just used to talk on the phone. And our interest in each other mostly grew out of talking and sharing about things we were passionate about.
Importance of speaking in a relationship
It gives me a great sense of acceptance and validation having Mr. Husband taking a genuine interest when I share and discuss my feelings with him. In turn, it gives Mr. Husband a great sense of relief when I shape my feelings in words rather than keep him guessing or letting him assume. Isn’t that what marriage is all about – to understand and be understood?
So, when I say “I promise to communicate” it means that I shall honestly express myself clearly without holding back my emotions even if it is a negative emotion. In our marriage, there’s a place for negative emotions because negative emotions also make us the humans that we are until we convey and get them out. Burying negative emotions can lead to dissatisfaction and agony. But, if we voice our feelings we can discuss them out and solve it together.
Misunderstood communication leads to resentment in a relationship. But in our marriage, there’s no space for resentment and for that, we make sure to deliver our messages across very loud and clear. And just so that no scope of doubt remains we even practice a habit of reiterating and asking if the message has been conveyed the way it was meant to be.
Importance of listening in a relationship
Hearing is not the same as listening. Hearing is when you receive an audible sound and listening is when you pay close attention to it. Just as important as it is to express and convey your feelings to your partner it is equally important to listen to what your partner has to say about their feelings.
So, when I say “I promise to communicate” it also means that I am open and willing to seek understanding of what Mr. Husband has to say. It means I am willing to be attentive and present to the conversation, even though I might disagree with what he’s saying or even if I might have listened to it many times before.
Communication is definitely an important aspect of a healthy and satisfying marriage. Our marriage thrives on the open exchange of emotion, desires, and beliefs. And, honest and effective communication whether it be verbal, non-verbal, written or touch is what we practice in our marriage for it to be healthy and growing.