If this isn’t bliss, then I’m not sure what is!

Motherhood is bliss!

Motherhood fills your days and night with magical moments of utter bliss, leaving you feeling astounded and thinking how did you ever lived so ignorant and missed the eyes for the beauty of life’s little big moments – so precious, so lovely!

For me bliss is:

That moment when the first time my baby boy was brought to me and I couldn’t help crying and smiling at the same time looking at his cute little angelic face.

That moment when he held on to my finger almost like we had known each other since long before we first-in-person met as if we had known each other for time immemorial. I knew instantly there was no other place I’d rather be.

That incredibly dreamy moment when he latched right on, and suckled happily without any hesitation whatsoever and kept snuggling into me as if he too had completely accepted me just as I had accepted him.

That defining moment when I was both exhilarated and overwhelmed with my new-found motherly feeling that I never knew existed within me.

Those moments of sheer delight when he used to go all berserk during the feeding sessions just looking at the breasts.

That hilarious instance, when Mr. Husband became the perfect victim of one of his poop explosions and was covered all over poop. Poor soul!

That moment when I first watched his elusive smile and totally got lost in it.

All those moments when I would smile brighter because he did.

All those times when I went gaga over his cuteness and just couldn’t take my eyes off him.

That first time when he began cooing and making all sorts of gurgling noises and how enchanting it was to hear that sweet sound.

Those times when he would spend hours together just watching and studying his newly-discovered hands and tiny fingers.

That moment when I witnessed his first laughter while he unknowingly played with his own reflection in the mirror.

Those precious moments when Mr. Husband looks at him like he put the stars in the sky.

Those moments when he kept amazing us each day by adding new sounds to his repertoire.

Those moments when he generously gave away his goggling beaming smiles on seeing someone he recognized.

That moment when he learned to blow bubbles by putting his tongue between his lips and kept practicing it tirelessly.

That moment when he gave the most triumphant of smiles as he figured out how to roll after umpteen failed attempts at it.

Those moments when I would be content just to watch him sleep peacefully and swell feeling proud of the magic I have created.

That first time when he learned to crawl after all the countless wiggling and bum-shuffling sequences.

That look of determination and a will so strong which I could see in his eyes the first time he stood with support and without it.

The first time he said “Papa” and I was filled with mixed emotions of happiness and jealousy all at the same time.

The unfathomable love and pride I felt hearing the first time he said “Mummy”. I’m sure my heart skipped a beat.

The first time he took his baby steps all by himself and I could watch my heart walking out of my body.

The way his face lights up to see me after a short time when I’m away and the look that he has as if saying, “Where were you all this time, I missed you so much,” and come running up to me to give me the biggest bear hug.

The mischievous look in his eyes when he is up to doing the thing which I asked him not to do a 100th time.

The innocence of him waking in the middle of the night searching for me and keep snuggling closer to me.

The look of wisdom in his eyes that is still unsullied by the world.

Having him look at me at my ugly best and still feel I’m the most beautiful woman in the whole universe.

Watching both my boys play together, whispering god knows what into each other’s ears and giggling away merrily.

Gazing at him in amazement and getting those fleeting glimpses of what an incredible human being he will become.

Those moments of tickling him playfully until he can hardly breathe from laughing so hard.

The moments when he looks at me for approval while he is up to something mischievous.

The way I love him, insanely, just almost irrationally, without any reservation.

Watching him soundly asleep at night in some weird position in a tumble of bedding and messy hair.

The relentless smiles that he gives away when we lock looks and exchange glances.

“If this isn’t bliss, then I’m not sure what is!”

It is those moments that exude pure love, transcending any other kind I’ve ever known, that I so wish I could turn into gems, freeze them in time and keep them for eternity. I’m looking forward to more of such uncounted moments together to have and to cherish – that only motherhood is capable of giving!

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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How Mr. Husband sees me being a Stay-at-home Mother?

I’m proud of her regardless of her being a stay-at-home mother or a working mother.

I am a stay-at-home mother as of now and definitely a proud one (Check out my previous post for more on being a stay-at-home mom). Our son is still small and there’s no one to look after him if I decide to go to work and leave him behind. Moreover, I have trust issues about keeping a nanny to look after my kid while I’m gone. So the situation demands of me to be a stay-at-home mom and I’m doing it happily. Yet, sometimes, in doing the same mundane activities day in and day out, I find my own identity rather lost in this new role.

Mr. Husband has been very supportive of my new role throughout and thinks very highly of me. He is not very expressive of his feelings but when he does he makes it a point to be stark clear. Here is what he thinks of me being a stay-at-home mother.

Stay-at-home mother vs Working mother

My wife is a stay-at-home mother as of now. We conceived when it was the peak time for her to be working and fulfilling her ambitions. But she decided to give her career aspirations a rest to start a family and bring this tiny human being to life which has become our whole world. But at the time, none of us had the slightest idea what we were signing up for.

Even one year after delivering she has had to put her dreams on hold to tend to this little life that we’ve created. Not that she is complaining or she isn’t proud of her new role as a stay-at-home mother, trust me we both truly are. I would have been equally proud had she been working, but we also can’t deny the fact that she did have to make sacrifices and change her priorities to take up this new role.

Not me, but her.

And then, on the other hand, there are also mothers who choose or have to work feeling guilty for having to leave their babies behind. It’s very difficult to choose one over the other, knowing that between the two there’s no such thing called a perfect choice, or even a good or a bad choice for that matter. And though neither of the decisions comes easy and both the decisions demand immense courage, strength, sacrifice, and bravery, it should be welcomed wholeheartedly and appropriately lauded.

Did you just read bravery? Oh yes, you read it right. It is, as a matter of fact, an act of bravery that we must give due credit to.

Why this constant debate about a stay-at-home mother and a working mother?

I feel it’s very shameful for us to even have this constant debate and categorize motherhood into stay-at-home mothers and working mothers. It’s rather pitiful how some of us look down at stay-at-home mothers and secretly diss on them, at the same time judge working mothers for being heartless and make them feel guilty for leaving their babies behind.

We should understand that there’s more to motherhood than what seemingly meets the eye. Motherhood is one true empowering spirit in itself and it doesn’t really matter if she’s a stay-at-home mom or a working one. It’s the feeling, emotions, and sentiments with which she enjoys motherhood and which makes her happy is what really matters in the true sense. Because after all, she’s the centre of everything, she’s the axis on which our lives revolve, men’s as well as the kids’. In my words,

“Children might be the heart of the family, Dads might be the body, but Moms are definitely the soul of the family.”

So let’s not put them in any category, rather just celebrate them for the beautiful souls that they are.
We really need more husbands to think like this. I’m thankful that I’ve got support and encouragement because somedays as a stay-at-home mom can get really overwhelming.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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My Mess-monster is Learning and Getting Smarter the Messy Way – Stop fretting about the mess!

My little Picasso aka My mess-monster!

I am a neat freak, I have always been so. I just cannot stand a mess. You must believe me when I say I become a maniac when I am on one of my weekly cleaning sprees, and by that I mean literally. According to Mr. Husband, I become this crazed woman and boss him around when he forgets to make the bed in the morning or wipe the floor after taking a shower.

The Lost Cause

But after the birth of our little 14-month old mess-monster Shaarav, I’m forced to, though reluctantly, let go of this habit of mine as now I am beginning to understand that trying to keep the house neat when you have a baby around is more or less like a lost cause. Well, that’s the thing; you can’t boss a baby (wink wink). Babies are meant to be messy, delving into their surroundings with gusto as they explore and discover the world the only way they know how.

Being a mother of a toddler can be a tough job, and more so when you have a handful one as my kiddo Shaarav. My little one surely knows the trick to create maximum mayhem in minimum time; he has got this exceptional talent which sometimes makes me wonder if he’s purposely trying to drive me crazy.

When Shaarav first began having semi-solids after completing his 6 months, I would jump up to clean each time he would spill or drop his food. But now I’m about ready to let go of this habit of mine and there’s a rather beautiful and one-of-a-kind story behind it.

The Story

Of whatever little time I get off of him, I use it to pursue my hobby of painting, crafts, DIYs, etc. Painting my heart out really acts as a stress buster. One fine morning when I had washed him up and he had finally dozed off after a thorough massage, I began painting. Shaarav at the time was about 7 and half months old and had still not begun to crawl. So we had safely assumed that he’s among those who would skip crawling and move directly to standing and walking.

Suddenly halfway between and still keeping things at a safe distance I had to go away to attend to a visitor at the door. I was away for about half an hour and when I returned what I saw not only did amuse me it changed me for good.

The Learning

Shaarav had crawled and reached for my colours and had created a colourful mess staining his clothing and toys. He had paint all over himself. Now coming to the interesting part, despite giving him various stimuli he would still not crawl, but the colours gave him the exact motivation he needed for making him crawl. Shaarav never fails to amaze us and though I had a long day cleaning the mess he had created, one thing I learned from the incident is that by not letting him get messy I was depriving him of a wonderful learning and sensory experience. So from that day onward, we let him hands-on allowing him to drop, roll, splatter the food and explore the different textures, colors, and flavours.

So people stop fretting about the mess and embrace the mess, you never know your kid just might be getting smarter in the process.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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Are you ready for a new perspective in relationship goals?

“Us” together

When we talk of parenthood, the role of a mother has always been given an edge over the role of a father. None of us can really deny the fact that mothers are the ones to devote more amounts of time and energy in raising a baby than the fathers too.

Over the years there has been much written about how contrastingly a mother’s life changes after coming of the baby as compared to how it was before the baby. But, not many of us talk about how a father’s life changes after a baby come into the picture. So here’s a Husband and New Dad’s perspective on relationships.

How a Husband and New Dad looks into this new role:

When we first planned on starting a family, we had a pretty clear picture that the baby was going to change the present dynamics of our marriage. But just when the romantic flirty messages changed into the grocery list, the intellectual chat changed into pee & poop talk and the birthday & anniversary reminders changed into vaccination reminders, I am still clueless.

Nobody warned us about the plummeting our relationship had taken and the chaos the rest of our lives had fallen into.

During the initial months everything seemed so exciting and gala, but soon after I found myself lamenting how our love for the baby had usurped our very own love story. Despite the fact that our happiness knew no bounds – she was happy and I was happy, but together our happy “we” times went missing from the picture.

We now have more pictures of us with the baby than we have of just the two of us!

And as determined as I was not to save our “us” for some day in the future, or pause our romance for tomorrow or even wait for the weekly off to hold a kiss for that matter, I also didn’t want to rush her into it either. I understood she needed time to recover & heal. But I also couldn’t shy away from the fact that her drive kept on taking a reverse gear whenever I tried to reconnect. I had been trying very badly to be the people who once met, married, fell in love and had a miraculous baby. But, our love story seemed to be lost somewhere underneath those soiled diapers and laundry piles.

How Sex and Intimacy went down the drain:

Who wouldn’t agree when I say that intimacy is like the glue in a marriage? So exactly how was I supposed to react if she chose sleep over sex? And even when, after a long, challenging day she tried to pry her tired and sleepy eyes open to tend to “us” because that might be our only chance during the entire day, I felt it was selfish of me to make her go through this. I did understand that “us” time would be the last thing on her mind with all the tiredness & exhaustion and over-touching from those tiny hands and feet climbing and clinging to her all day. And as much as I would hate to admit – it did feel like I was not wanted, I was not cared for, when all I had wanted was a sense of belongingness, even if the thought crossed my mind just for the millionth of a second.

How reality struck hard:

Did they tell you before having the baby that life will be more beautiful and lovely with the baby?

Reality check!

They sure forgot to tell you how different that love and life you probably imagined before having the baby could be when you are sleep-deprived parents to a highly active toddler. I knew beforehand, life couldn’t be the same and I was definitely geared up for this, but I so wanted more of her, I so wanted more of “us”. Reality struck me hard when one day, on hearing my wife calling, “Hey handsome” I jumped in all excited only to find that it was for the baby and not me (sigh)! He sure is my baby too and he’s handsome. But ouch! That hurt, and so much.

How I started looking at our relationship in a new light:

But amidst all that chaos we still tried to laugh while cooking or cleaning, appreciate each other, exchanged gifts, even when they didn’t seem to be enough.

And just when I was beginning to think our relationship had lost its lustre, our marriage was far from being over, not even close. In all the drama going on in my life, I somehow missed seeing the bigger picture. This time around, she was the one to reach out. I’m glad I had the patience to wait and I didn’t rush her into it.

It was then I was able to witness how with each one of these challenging days passing by, we had been inching closer to each other gaining in trust, establishing mutual respect and building on faith. I had missed seeing how we kept fuelling on hope, enkindling belongingness and growing even deeper a love, all along the way, silently.

It just took me a little while to see how our relationship had metamorphosed and transformed into a more beautiful form, just as a butterfly does from a caterpillar, giving more meaning and depth to the relationship that we already had. Only my eyes were long clouded to realize how a whole new dimension of my psyche was born, as we lovers had morphed into something more.

We were morphed into parents.

Our “us” today is definitely different than what it used to be, and not always a “good different,” but I love this life we’ve created and how we’ve grown as a family. And I have never been this sure how this phase of my life has shaped my personality and given me a deeper perspective on love and sacrifice.

The morphed parents enjoying some “us” time.

Our relationship is definitely the most cherished aspects of my life, but the look of unconditional love that I see in those tiny eyes of my one-year-old who calls me “Papa“, and how my heart fills up with gratitude, love, and pride is beyond any word can describe and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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Mr. Husband’s New Year’s Resolutions 2018

 

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Let’s welcome 2018 with an open heart!

So it’s New Year. And most of the people around the globe have already come up with their New Year’s resolutions. I don’t know what’s with me. I’m just not into making New Year’s resolutions.

Why?

Because I know it’s difficult for me to keep myself motivated and I usually tend to mess it up. So I’d rather not make any commitments than feel guilty later for not being able to keep up with them.

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Resolutions aren’t really my cup of tea.

But to tell you, Mr. Husband is very keen on making resolutions. He does it every year and more or less tries to live up to them. This year all his resolutions are mostly focussed on the baby and family. He’s is a Dad now after all, and that too, a proud one. Let’s see how many of you can relate to them. Don’t forget to mention below in the comments how you feel about it.

Here it goes:

Take heart people — yet another New Year is upon us, which means it’s time to make New Year’s resolutions. I take New Year’s resolutions as a tradition that gives me the chance to start over and make little improvements towards making a better & updated version of me and a better life. And rather than making unattainable lofty goals this time my resolutions may not be too impressive or too ambitious but definitely are realistic and specific. So this year:

I want to be the best father that I can ever be and by that I mean to be able to contribute more and be more involved in your life. For now, I can change your diapers, I can do your laundry, I can give you a bath, massage you, dress you and even feed you. So my next stop would be able to cook for you even if it is the regular dal.

I want to stress less and be more present with you so that I can look at life your way and find joy in the tiniest, most trivial and silliest of things even if it is following the trail of ants in the garden or jumping up and down hearing that yellow school bus honk at our doorstep. I want to able to relish in the little beautiful details in life, be it watching that sparrow sitting on the mango tree chirp and hop away merrily or watching that big pig sprawl lazily in the puddle of muddy water. I want to chuckle as I observe, learn, and love.

I want to be able to teach you different things, praise you and be proud of the little accomplishments you make even it be using the potty pan.

I want to take you out every day just to grab a breath of fresh air and get you acquainted with your surroundings and locality if it’s only for half an hour to the nearest grocery store.

I want to take each little breath to kick back, smile, and enjoy the present moment with ease. I don’t want to be so hard on myself and want to be able to find time to take care of me and enjoy some guilt-free “me” time.

And now that you are learning by watching us, I want to figure out a balance between caring for you and making sure to save some of “me” to share with Mrs. Wife, who also happens to be your Mummy, giving you a good example of a healthy and loving marriage and hopefully helping you feel more secure, confident, and blessed.

Bring it on, 2018!

Have a great year ahead.

Wishing all you beautiful people a Happy and Prosperous New Year 2018. So how did you feel? Could you relate to any of it? Let me know your New Year’s resolutions. Please feel free to comment on the section below.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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