Wishing You a Happy Father’s Day, Papa!

Papa and me as a child!

In raising a child, usually, the mothers get the limelight and are the centre of attention most of the time while fathers are the unsung heroes though they share an equally important role in parenting and in a child’s upbringing. Read 5 Essential Newborn Tips from a Bewildered New Dad here.

So, it’s that time of the year where we bring these unsung heroes to the focus and show them our love and deeply felt gratitude for being that rock in our lives. Father’s Day is just around the corner and I want to dedicate the whole month for the fathers in my life.

Papa and me on my wedding day!

I have grown watching my father as a man of few words. But whatever he said was meant to be etched in stone. Bot, he was strict and I even remember being hesitant talking to him and spoke to him only when need be. But flipping through the family pictures like these tell a different story of him altogether. Though he doesn’t say much yet loves us as much as those dads who keep telling how much they love their children. of late, as he’s growing old, he has become more of a friend than a parent. and now I can talk to him about anything that I want to without any hesitation. and the stricter he used to be with us, the stricter he’s spoiling his grandchild filthy.

Papa with Shaarav on one of Shaarav’s monthly birthdays!

Here’s a small poem dedicated to him on the event of Father’s Day celebrating his being not just as a father and a grandfather but also as a kind and generous human!


If my life were a story ever needed to be told,

So should you know you’d be the writer, lo and behold!

I feel lucky you were the one to make me,

I know you take pride, you just don’t let us see.

You taught me to differentiate the right from the wrong.

You gave me values, you made me strong.

You’re a man of principles and a simple man with a good heart.

You work silently never looking for praises, I can tell apart.

You shaped me to be a good person going out of your way.

Whatever I am today I owe it to you, each and every day.

You have been the pillar and the anchor that I needed.

You have always been there for us whose advice I have always heeded.

You have always been proud of us you may not particularly show.

But we are even prouder of you so that you know.

The day you got me married I know you cried.

I watched you force that smile through the tears, oh, how hard you tried.

I remember the day mom died, you stayed strong though you were shattered inside.

I was expecting at the time and you never left my side.

It’s been hard for us but it has been the hardest for you.

And here you are delivering your responsibilities and doing what you need to do.

You are not just a great father but an amazing grandfather too.

We thank the stars to have you raise us, it’s so true.

You are a man of character and a will so strong.

I hope and wish Shaarav takes some from you, I so long.

As we get busy with our lives while you get old.

There’s still your heart that will forever remain gold.

You gave me strength and life lessons to learn.

I wish and pray to be born as your daughter again, yes that’s what I yearn.

 Wishing you a very Happy Father’s Day, Papa!
Papa with Shaarav on his own birthday!

This post is a part of a blog train hosted by Prisha Lalwani of Mummasaurus.com. In the same context, I take this opportunity to thank Cindy Ann Dsilva for introducing me whose wonderful post you can read here. I’d also like to introduce Noor Anand Chawla whose lovely post you can read here.

Hosted by:

Prisha Lalwani Mummasaurus.com

IG: @mummasaurus1 FB: /mummasaurus1

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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Are you ready for a new perspective in relationship goals?

“Us” together

When we talk of parenthood, the role of a mother has always been given an edge over the role of a father. None of us can really deny the fact that mothers are the ones to devote more amounts of time and energy in raising a baby than the fathers too.

Over the years there has been much written about how contrastingly a mother’s life changes after coming of the baby as compared to how it was before the baby. But, not many of us talk about how a father’s life changes after a baby come into the picture. So here’s a Husband and New Dad’s perspective on relationships.

How a Husband and New Dad looks into this new role:

When we first planned on starting a family, we had a pretty clear picture that the baby was going to change the present dynamics of our marriage. But just when the romantic flirty messages changed into the grocery list, the intellectual chat changed into pee & poop talk and the birthday & anniversary reminders changed into vaccination reminders, I am still clueless.

Nobody warned us about the plummeting our relationship had taken and the chaos the rest of our lives had fallen into.

During the initial months everything seemed so exciting and gala, but soon after I found myself lamenting how our love for the baby had usurped our very own love story. Despite the fact that our happiness knew no bounds – she was happy and I was happy, but together our happy “we” times went missing from the picture.

We now have more pictures of us with the baby than we have of just the two of us!

And as determined as I was not to save our “us” for some day in the future, or pause our romance for tomorrow or even wait for the weekly off to hold a kiss for that matter, I also didn’t want to rush her into it either. I understood she needed time to recover & heal. But I also couldn’t shy away from the fact that her drive kept on taking a reverse gear whenever I tried to reconnect. I had been trying very badly to be the people who once met, married, fell in love and had a miraculous baby. But, our love story seemed to be lost somewhere underneath those soiled diapers and laundry piles.

How Sex and Intimacy went down the drain:

Who wouldn’t agree when I say that intimacy is like the glue in a marriage? So exactly how was I supposed to react if she chose sleep over sex? And even when, after a long, challenging day she tried to pry her tired and sleepy eyes open to tend to “us” because that might be our only chance during the entire day, I felt it was selfish of me to make her go through this. I did understand that “us” time would be the last thing on her mind with all the tiredness & exhaustion and over-touching from those tiny hands and feet climbing and clinging to her all day. And as much as I would hate to admit – it did feel like I was not wanted, I was not cared for, when all I had wanted was a sense of belongingness, even if the thought crossed my mind just for the millionth of a second.

How reality struck hard:

Did they tell you before having the baby that life will be more beautiful and lovely with the baby?

Reality check!

They sure forgot to tell you how different that love and life you probably imagined before having the baby could be when you are sleep-deprived parents to a highly active toddler. I knew beforehand, life couldn’t be the same and I was definitely geared up for this, but I so wanted more of her, I so wanted more of “us”. Reality struck me hard when one day, on hearing my wife calling, “Hey handsome” I jumped in all excited only to find that it was for the baby and not me (sigh)! He sure is my baby too and he’s handsome. But ouch! That hurt, and so much.

How I started looking at our relationship in a new light:

But amidst all that chaos we still tried to laugh while cooking or cleaning, appreciate each other, exchanged gifts, even when they didn’t seem to be enough.

And just when I was beginning to think our relationship had lost its lustre, our marriage was far from being over, not even close. In all the drama going on in my life, I somehow missed seeing the bigger picture. This time around, she was the one to reach out. I’m glad I had the patience to wait and I didn’t rush her into it.

It was then I was able to witness how with each one of these challenging days passing by, we had been inching closer to each other gaining in trust, establishing mutual respect and building on faith. I had missed seeing how we kept fuelling on hope, enkindling belongingness and growing even deeper a love, all along the way, silently.

It just took me a little while to see how our relationship had metamorphosed and transformed into a more beautiful form, just as a butterfly does from a caterpillar, giving more meaning and depth to the relationship that we already had. Only my eyes were long clouded to realize how a whole new dimension of my psyche was born, as we lovers had morphed into something more.

We were morphed into parents.

Our “us” today is definitely different than what it used to be, and not always a “good different,” but I love this life we’ve created and how we’ve grown as a family. And I have never been this sure how this phase of my life has shaped my personality and given me a deeper perspective on love and sacrifice.

The morphed parents enjoying some “us” time.

Our relationship is definitely the most cherished aspects of my life, but the look of unconditional love that I see in those tiny eyes of my one-year-old who calls me “Papa“, and how my heart fills up with gratitude, love, and pride is beyond any word can describe and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

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