The Truth Behind My Picture-perfect Motherhood

Have you wondered what picture-perfect motherhood might be like for you? I imagine it to be like the one where I am utter patient with my child, where I refrain from shouting at him out of frustration because he spilled water again and I need to clean it up or I come back home tired wanting to lie down for some time only to find a whole pile of toys scattered all over the bed. Picture-Perfect motherhood for me would be where he listens to me once for a change and does exactly what he’s being asked to do. Sigh! Wouldn’t life be so much easier and so much beautiful if we had everything our way? But the reality is entirely different from what we want and how it is.

These past three months that I have been working I have been juggling my life. I wake up at 5 am in the morning and the first thing I do is put dirty laundry in the washing machine. Then I begin to cook and clean which I try to complete by 7 am because by that time it’s already time to wake Shaarav up and get him ready for school. I completely need to be with Shaarav until 8 am at which he leaves for school. During that one hour, I need to wake him up, make him brush his teeth, bathe him, massage and change and feed him and get him ready for school. Believe me, getting through this one hour daily is the toughest and the most draining hour of my entire day. It’s a real struggle with a toddler who wants to sleep a little more and doesn’t want to wake up, or takes an eternity to brush his teeth asking for more toothpaste repeatedly, or is reluctant to take a bath or refuses to come out of the tub or wants to wear jeans and redshirt when I picked black trousers and yellow T-shirt for him to wear, or when he wants to eat bread and jam when I prepared aaloo paranthas for him after confirming with him thrice. And mind you, these are just some of the unreasonable demands that I need to entertain and honour every day.

I try to maintain my calm and not lose my patience, but going through all this daily besides solo parenting when I have a schedule to maintain because I have to catch a 9.30 am bus to office if I don’t want to get late is insane. I feel I don’t get enough time for myself anymore because after returning from work when all I want is to lie down for some time and check my Emails, Facebook or WhatsApp my son comes running up to me with his favourite storybook asking me to put my phone away and tell him the same story a 100th time.

And I have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from scolding him and consciously take a few deep breaths to curb my rising frustration before I take the storybook from him with a smile, pick him up and place him on my lap kissing him on his cheeks and begin our storytelling session.

When I thoroughly believed that my life as a stay-at-home mom was tough I am realizing that my life as a working mom has become a whole lot tougher. I constantly have to deal with a guilty conscience for not being able to make enough time for my son anymore – for not being a perfect mother to my child. I constantly find myself torn apart by the conflicting feelings of wanting some time off for myself and then ending up feeling that I wasted the time which I could have given to my son. I feel like I could go crazy dealing with this every day.

But a growing realization that I had not so long ago is that in my pursuit of being an ideal mother I had stopped being a real one. But now I have understood that it’s not wrong to idealize motherhood, but the kind of mother that I have been idealizing isn’t the mother that lives the same life as me. Reality is that there’s no perfect motherhood and there’s no perfect, one-size-fits-all love. When I first met Mr. Husband, I remember having the feeling that I couldn’t love another human more until I met my son. I look at him and it feels he’s enough and more I could have ever asked for. My life derives its very meaning from his existence. And I might not be a perfect mother or I might not even don picture-perfect motherhood, but one thing I’m very sure of is that I can love my son perfectly despite my lack of perfection.

And for that I need to be kind – kind not just to my innocent child but kind to me as well, for I have been harsh on myself for way too long. I need to choose kindness over harsh judgement because if there’s one thing I ever want to do perfectly is to make my son feel free and safe by my love. And love can feel safe only when there’s acceptance – acceptance that the real motherhood is as beautiful as or even more beautiful than picture-perfect motherhood, and that I might never be a perfect mother but I can be the perfect me.

Read about my theme reveal post for #MyFriendAlexa Season 4 here.

P.S. I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

 

Views: 1171

#MyFriendAlexa – Theme Reveal

“My Cup of Motherhood” is my theme for #MyFriendAlexa

Hello Readers!

Do you remember the month of April when I participated in the crazy BlogchatterA2Z blogging challenge? Yeah, it’s the same one where I had to put up 26 posts with 26 alphabets in 26 days. So you must remember how fun, exciting and full of madness it was. So, Blogchatter hosts another blogging challenge which is called #MyFriendAlexa and this year they are running its 4th season. I had been waiting to participate in it since last year when I came to know about it but was too late to register myself for it. But my wait is finally over. #MyFriendAlexa is here with its fourth season and I am all set to participate in this one of a kind blogging campaign.

#MyFriendAlexa Blogging Challenge

If you are wondering what #MyFriendAlexa challenge is, let me tell you it is an annual blogging campaign hosted by Team Blogchatter which aims to raise the Alexa ranking of one’s blog. Alexa ranking is a measure of one’s website’s popularity which takes into account the number of visitors and the amount of engagement one gets on their blog over a while. Depending on the same the lesser the Alexa number is the more popular the blog is.

So each year Team Blogchatter comes up with a unique plan to help fellow bloggers not just to increase their online presence by providing motivation to write for their own blogs that would aid in raising their Alexa ranks, but to also boost engagements by prompting to read, comment and share posts from other fellow bloggers as well.

So as part of the #MyFriendAlexa campaign, I’d need to write 8 compulsory blog posts spread over 4 weeks in September. Besides, I’d also need to read around 10-12 blogs each day throughout the challenge which would help me discover new blogs and new people to interact with. Had I mentioned aching eyes, cramped fingers and burning the midnight oil during BlogchatterA2Z challenge? It’s going to be a similar environment with all-day work at the office struggling to meet the deadlines and then coming home fulfill your passion. Mind you, just like BlogchatterA2Z #MyFriendAlexa too is not for the faint-hearted since it would require you to push your limits. It’s crazy, right? Well, I’m crazier and I’m hell-bent to complete it and give my writing inertia a little push to gain momentum. My writing hashtag would be #CloudndSunshineWrites and my reading hashtag would be #CloudandSunshineReads.

So, with that being said just like BlogchatterA2Z challenge I have decided to stick to a theme for myself to give a feel, connect and solidarity to my posts, something that my readers can look forward to reading throughout the month. And now, it’s time for the “Theme Reveal” and I can already sense the adrenaline gushing in me, that’s the kind of excitement all Blogchatter campaigns and challenges entail and is raved about. Excited much?

Theme Reveal for #MyFriendAlexa

The theme that I have chosen for the challenge is “My Cup of Motherhood”. Yes, that’s the theme I choose for #MyFreindAlexa. Not many of you know that I started working some three months back and it has been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride not so much for Shaarav but definitely for me. It has not just been a physically and emotionally draining three months but at the same time, it has also been an accomplished and fulfilling three months too. With time to manage, life to juggle and duties to fulfill, motherhood has become a lot more complicated than it already was. So these 8 posts are going to be about my recent tryst with motherhood and parenting with my little man. So join me as #cloudandsunshinewrites about #MyCupOfMotherhood for the #MyFriendAlexa challenge. Exciting, right?

So are you up for some serious fun? Keep watching this space for the whole month of September as I share My Cup of Motherhood with you all. Feel free to join me and share your views on the same.

P.S. I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Views: 659

A Happy Father’s Day Mr. Husband!

Mr. Husband is definitely the best hands-on that I know of!So, with this post, we come to an end to a four-week-long Father’s day celebration saga. And here’s a small poem for wishing a Happy Father’s Day to Mr. Husband appreciating him for the amazing father that he is.


I love you as a man and as a husband, I do too.

But what I love about you the most is the thing in the father’s role you do.

I’ve watched you change and change for good.

I appreciate the man you’ve turned into embracing fatherhood.

Since the moment I’ve had Shaarav in my tummy you’ve had him in your heart.

With the habits, you two share it’s difficult to tell you both apart.

I remember when you held Shaarav the first time, you gazed at him with brightly-lit eyes.

I’ve watched you in pain each time our little munchkin cries.

You changed his diapers and you’ve even stayed up at nights.

I giggle when he runs up to you to tell how he and I got into a fight.

I’m still jealous because ‘Papa’ was the first words he ever said.

But it makes us even when Shaarav needs me to put him to bed.

He jumps and leaps to match your footsteps and your stride.

And each time he does that, this mummy’s heart swells with pride.

You are his hero and you always will be.

He sees in you the invisible superhero cape that the world can’t see.

Shaarav is totally your replica in more ways that I can tell.

I thank my stars each day for having made him with you since the moment from heaven he fell!

Wishing you a Happy Father’s Day Mr. Husband!


This post is a part of the blog train hosted by Prisha Lalwani of Mummasaurus.com. In the same context, I take this opportunity to thank Revati Bhushan for introducing me whose wonderful post you can read here and I’d also like to introduce Debidutta Mohanty whose lovely post you can read here.

Hosted by:

Prisha Lalwani Mummasaurus.com

IG: @mummasaurus1

FB: /mummasaurus1

Love,

Mrs. Sunshine

Views: 436