“I promise INTIMACY not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well reciprocating a sense of belongingness.”
With this vow, we promise to always reciprocate feelings of trust, emotional and physical closeness towards each other fostering a feeling of belonging together.
What does the vow mean?
A dictionary defines intimacy as closeness with a feeling of belonging together that is not particularly sexual but emotional and spiritual as well. Though intimacy can mean and involve sexual closeness too it is much more than just that. It means blending of hearts besides merging of bodies and being sexually intimate.
Why do we need INTIMACY for a satisfying marriage?
Intimacy in a marriage does majorly mean a sexual expression. If both the partners are able to express each other through sexual intimacy it does imply that they have attained a good level of intimacy in their relationship. But, marriage is meant to make two people one in all aspects, be it physical, emotional or spiritual. We generally talk of intimacy as being sexually intimate but it is not just about two bodies merging together, it has more to do with merging of two souls together. Intimacy allows us to “look into” each other’s soul fostering a feeling of belongingness.
So when I say “I promise intimacy” it means I am not just comfortable sharing that most special part of myself but it also means reaching that level of comfort in our relationship where I am emotionally close.
Intimacy in a marriage means letting your guards down and feeling vulnerable. Intimacy means that kind of closeness where you can express freely without reservations and feel accepted. So, “I promise intimacy” also means that I know you enough to see what you see, hear what you hear and feel what you feel. Intimacy means to know your spouse and be known in a manner that you may be able to complete each other’s sentences.
Intimacy is definitely a journey in itself which, undeniably, is a strong foundation to an everlasting and fulfilling marriage. In our marriage, we both are in our way of exploring our comfort level in our intimacy journey trying to build an everlasting relationship based on closeness, warmth, mutual trust, and reciprocity of intimacy.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet J. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here and the previous vow with alphabet H here.
“I promise to ADMIRE and appreciate you for who you are, who you have been and who you wish to become.”
With this vow, we promise to always see the best in each other and support each other in our journey towards personal growth and self-improvement accepting all the forms of each other.
What does the vow mean?
The first part of the vow means:
If we go by the dictionary meaning of admiration, it says admiration is a feeling of delighted approval and liking. And so, admiration is one of the most powerful foundations for a long-lasting relationship. It is indeed a very strong first feeling you develop in a person you have known and you respect. Admiration has to do about the story you want to tell about your spouse to yourself. And, that means it should come straight from the heart. When I say “I promise to admire you” it means I have genuine respect for you which comes from the wonder, pleasure, and warmth I get in your company.
Admiration is, thus, the first positive feeling that makes us stick to our spouses because when all other emotions begin to fade away, only the best things that we see in our spouses makes us admire them.
The second part of the vow means:
Our past has a lot to do with who we are and who we have become. I have had my ups and downs, highs and lows, and successes and failures which have shaped me to be the person that I am today. To me, getting married always meant the ultimate acceptance of me from my partner, without any regrets, accepting me with open hearts and guiding me in our future with open arms. It has always been very important to me in our marriage that we both challenge each other and help each other grow to be a better person. Here, we don’t mean to improve the way the one wants the other to, but to improve in a way that one wants to improve herself for the mutual good.
Why do we need to ADMIRE our spouse for a healthy and long-lasting relationship?
When we are at the beginning of a relationship, during that rosy feeling of the butterflies-in-the-stomach kind, we usually tend to overlook all the negative habits in our partner which we begin to notice only when we have spent a considerable amount of time with them. And when we are past the all-is-roses phase, we suddenly begin to find those habits we once overlooked and didn’t mind about as unbearable and difficult to deal with. Marriage is choosing to see the best in you with all your heart and being reciprocated.
But it’s equally important for us to communicate and appreciate what we admire in our spouses. Mutual admiration is not only the foundation of a healthy marriage, but it is also a hallmark of a flourishing relationship. “I promise to admire” means I am ready to actively cultivate and focus on the positive in the one I deeply love.
But we need to understand that a relationship can only last when you try to focus on the good your partner has rather than ruminating about the bad. Nobody is perfect. Perfect is a lie. But still we can strive for a healthy relationship if we slightly change our outlook and that’s the image I hope to carry with me throughout my marriage. I hope as Mr. Husband and I grow in love, we continue to find unique ways to admire each other looking past our imperfections and helping each other to become the best version of ourselves. And this is how we vow to make each other happy and our relationship enjoyable.
Keep watching the space for the next vow with alphabet B. You can find the opening post to the vows “What marriage means to me?”here.
With BlogchatterA2Z Challenge Theme Reveal you have already come to know that I’ll be rededicating my marriage by renewing my wedding vows. But this time around instead of 7 there are going to be 26 vows with 26 alphabets spread across 26 posts. So with this post, let me give you an opening, a sneak peek of what you’ll be getting to read and know about what you may expect from my posts through the entire month.
What do you say when someone asks you what marriage means to you?
Well, when someone asked me the same question I was so stupefied with the question that I stood there tongue-tied gaping at the questioner like a fool. Yeah, that’s what I did. But why didn’t I have anything to say for such a simple question? I was extremely embarrassed at my own lack of expression.
But this really made me ponder and reflect on what marriage truly means to me. And when I truly understood what marriage means to me, I was flabbergasted by the profoundness of its meaning and its significance in my life, rather our life because Mr. Husband and I share more or less the same ideologies. We are similar that way!
So, coming back to the question of what marriage means to me?
Having grown up in a family where my mom and dad followed and practiced a healthy and growing relationship I couldn’t have had a more positive and inconvertible feeling towards this sacred institution.
I wonder if I’d have the same irrefutable feeling had I been raised in a broken marriage. But regardless of that, I still feel marriage to me is much more than just paperwork and legal binding or social affirmation of two couples staying together.
Marriage to me is the “gift for life” as well as the “gift of life”. To me, marriage is a celebration not just for the day that we get married, but for the whole life – celebrating each other as we build a life together.
Marriage to me is a journey of a lifelong commitment to each other through everything – the good parts, the bad parts and everything in between, but out of love and not out of obligation.
Marriage to me is sticking together, no matter what, on days when we’re head over heels in love with each other, but mostly on days where we’d rather leave each other alone and not see each others’ faces. It means sticking together even when things get inevitably difficult and we’d rather find it easy to walk away desperately wanting to start over and start afresh.
Marriage to me is to share not just the last name or the same bed or the same closet. Marriage is sharing a family, sharing the joys and sorrows – sharing a life.
Marriage to me is choosing to say “I love you” every day building a life together not just over countless conversations – some serious, some nonsensical, myriad of fights and disagreements – some logical some, illogical, not just over annoyance and mundanity, but also over pure happiness and sheer joy, the kind that makes your heart flutter and makes the journey worth it.
So, here’s a small poem I wrote about what marriage means to me:
Marriage to me is a beautiful song
Of forgiveness when one is wrong
To be singing when one gets hurt
Giving them reasons to stay strong!
Marriage to me is treasure and wealth
A lifelong commitment until comes death
To find them the light when one gets lost
And to stick together in sickness and in health!
Marriage to me is a remarkable way
To celebrate life, make merry, and to play
But also when it gets rough and one gets sad
To be present for them to save the day!
Marriage to me is a gift for life
Where you either be one or get a wife
You strive to grow and build a life together
And have a family to cherish as a gift of life!
No wonder I was dumbfounded by the question. Sometimes when it means so much it’s hard to express it in just a few words. Sometimes when it means so much it’s easy to write volumes of books on it. But hold your thought right there, I’d rather suffice with this small blog post for what it means to me. And when marriage means so much to me, it’s only coherent that I renew my vows and rededicate my marriage with this person to whom I’m bound to for now and forever. Join us as we redefine our marriage this April.
And I would definitely love to hear your views and opinions to this question – “What marriage means to you?” in the comments below.
It’s been five years together. Can you believe it? Isn’t that an accomplishment?
Wow! What a journey it has been!
I can’t stop smiling, knowing that we have been married this long. And look how far we have come, from being total strangers to become engaged, to become lovers, to become spouses and now, to become parents to this already handsome tiny human being.
I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. But it still feels it was only yesterday when we used to talk on the phone for hours together at length with all those flirty messages.
Five years ago, you made me fall in love with you; slowly, but steadily. Times have changed since.
And so has our ways of expressing our love for each other. But what hasn’t changed in all these years is the love we share. Welcoming Shaarav in our lives has taken our relationship to a whole new level altogether.
I know our marriage is far from being perfect. Sure, we have had our tough times and our set of challenges. And I do not lie when I say there have been days when I’ve felt difficult to continue any longer. There have been days when I could take no more and so desperately wanted to call it quits. But the way we have worked on them with empathy and grace, and overcome our differences has made us the person that we are; better than we have ever been. And it has only made us strong, bringing us all the more close.
We fight, we cry, we annoy each other to the core and we even don’t talk to each other for a day or two. But we also love, respect and care for each other. I have watched you change for better and grow as a person over the years. Sometimes it surprises me how you have come a long way from being a couch potato to being this best hands-on dad I’ve ever known. This shows how you truly care. You have made what mattered to me, matter to you garnering my respect for you all the more. Watching you make conscious efforts, day after day, to be a better dad and an even better husband makes me so impressed and proud.
I might not express what I feel for you, every day. I don’t tell you this as often and as much as I should, but these have been the most amazing and fullest five years of my life. It’s been one interesting ride, full of fun, surprises and more than anything, adventurous. I wouldn’t in my dreams trade what we have for anything in the world. What we have is nothing short of being magical. So I particularly take this day to thank you for making this all so beautiful and cherished.
So, on this special day, a cheesy, cliche hearty love letter to you for our five years of togetherness is totally worth it.
Thank you for investing in our marriage every single day. I feel this sense of unfailing gratitude and love for you for finding me the light whenever it was far away, for cheering me up, for supporting and encouraging me in whatever I do and enkindling in me the very energy to keep me going.
No matter how sullen and grumpy I might be, you always manage to bring a smile to my face.
Thank you for appreciating me and accepting me with all my flaws and shortcomings with an open heart. I am certainly not the most lovable person, but looking into your eyes I can see how loved and cherished I am.
Thank you for putting up with my hormone-crazed pregnancy and post-pregnancy days. Thank you for bearing with my mood swings, emotional breakdowns and tantrums, and being so patient with me, that only you could have done. I know how difficult I can be at times. You and you alone can put up with me and my shenanigans and still manage to maintain your sanity.
Thank you for Shaarav. He is magic. He is a wonder. He is out of this world. He is a gift. He is you, only a smaller version. He is totally your replica – in looks, in habits, in everything, and in every way. And I am still jealous of it so that you know.
Thank you for being my rock. Thank you for being the shoulder I can lean on. You have been the biggest source of my strength and comfort through all my thick and thin. I feel beyond blessed to have you in my life to share my life with you.
You complete me.
The story we share and the journey we’ve had so far makes me believe that we are here to stay; that we are meant to be. We are going to stick together just the way we have done in the past. But I won’t make any promises because I don’t know how much of it I can keep. Yet, I can assure you that I will definitely make the journey worthwhile. I love you from the deepest reaches of my heart and I honestly can’t imagine my life without you. I love you more today than yesterday, and I will love you even more tomorrow than today.
It fills my heart with utter wonder to know that the best is right now and still yet to come. So cheers to all the laughs and tears we have shared and cheers to the rest of our lives that I look forward to annoying you and growing old together.